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What power does a professional dominatrix have?

What power does a professional dominatrix have or does she have any real power at all?

one of the things that most appeals to me about the BDSM lifestyle is the exchange of power or rather the surrounding of power. But I’m curious as to how this applies to a professional Dominatrix. When I say professional what I’m referring to is women who have no real genuine interest in the lifestyle but whose sole purpose is to make as much money as possible. When they go to a fetish event of any time the only reason they are there is to tout for business. I have visited a number of professional Dommes over the years, some wonderful, some not so wonderful. But when you strip everything right down isn’t it really just a financial arrangement? The sub goes in, pays the fee, discusses his fantasies and fetishes. Then the session takes place, usually ending in him masturbating. It can be very enjoyable and can help to relieve stress. But the sub can choose to end the session at any time. He can choose never to visit that particular Domme again. The Domme might have the power during the session, and a lot of that is down to how good she is at her trade. But the overall power is really with the sub. I’d be interested in any opinions on this.

Answers:

  • Most of the pro Dommes I have met and known have real-life subs/slaves. They use the fact that people are willing and wanting to pay as a way to express their voice in their lifestyle. Yes, in the course of a paid session the “sub” gets to tell the dominant what they want but the way it is carried out still lies within the person who leads the scene. I am not sure I have ever met a pro-domme who is nilla. Also, in any kind of D/s relationship, he submissive holds a lot of power because if they are unwilling to surrender it just cannot happen. Unless of course someone could care less and do everything anyway. It all comes down to semantics in my opinion. Honestly,the pro Domme has a large role in the lifestyle and it is shitty that so many people give them a bad rap for getting paid to play. They couldn’t do it if people weren’t willing ya know
  • Yes, while I am sure that there is some small number of Pro Dommes who fit the OPs description, most Pro Dommes are into it! They could not work at it if they weren’t as they’d get too burnt out too quickly.

I get so TIRED of people thinking (unrealistically) that Pros are not REALLY dominant, or that we all allow guys to jerk off in a ssion.

I have been a pro for a great many years and I have always also participated in kink events. Many of us also do not allow the sub to jerk off, either…I really wonder where guys get their ideas about Pros, because there is a lot of bigotry within the scene.

I am proud to be a professional and good at what I do! The fact that I am good enough to have people pay me a lot of money for what I love doing is just icing on the kink cake!

  • A sub can stop a scene at any time with a pro domme or with a lifestyle domme. It’s called a safeword. As far as a woman being a pro domme just for the money, yes there are those who are into it more for the money than anything else but regardless of motivation she is still in the position to dominate him and he has made the decision to submit to her. Motivations do not have to be noble or romantic for d/s to occur. The arrangement is for a fetish scene and for a limited amount of time but this also occurs between nonprofessional dommes and subs. As far as whether or not the power exchange is real and has happened, only the ones in the scene can know that for sure and it isn’t for anyone else to say it’s real or not.
  • Not all proDommes do what they’re told.

The way I operate…
I have a website clearly delineating what I do and don’t do.
Potential clients are then welcome to communicate to me which of my fetishes are likes and/or hard limits.
From that negotiation,I do what I want.

You make an excellent point that is often ignored when the question of what it means when a woman takes money for domination services arises – that even when no money is exchanged the motives are not always romantic.
I’ve had many approaches over the years from “do-me subs” who don’t offer anything (service or a relationship) because they want a scene for nothing.

Another point…We don’t all play with safewords.

palemoon2008: The power really lies with those who choose it.
In a scene where there’s a healthy balance. it lies with both in terms of the negotiation (both were involved in the negotiation where one happens).
While a sub may call en end to a scene, it’s really up to the dominant to decide whether or not to listen.
: )

  • You are exactly the kind of client I find a huge energy drain and consider merely “work”. You go in with that crappy attitude, and you deserve exactly what you get. There are some people who come into this without expectations of having every fantasy met or getting to jerk off. There are some people who get more out of this than a little stress relief. You not being that kind of person doesn’t diminish anyone else’s experience.

What we all do in this scene is power exchange. Nobody has more power than anyone else when it comes to stopping a scene. And wtf do you expect to happen outside a scene with a pro that our power begins and ends when the client says it does? Your scene with a pro is for a set amount of time. That’s part of the negotiation, and scene negotation happens with any BDSM interaction, regardless of financial involvement. Your choice to top from the bottom is what makes our jobs a pain in the ass on bad days and makes you an energy drain. We deal with clients like you because we have to make a living, but I can’t tell you how thankful I am that the majority of people we see have more respect for us and for themselves than you do.

  • Seems to me you (slavedoge) has a bad attitude about Pro-Dommes… I know a few of them and they are the most lovely ladies you will ever meet and No they do not show up at events to canvas for business… they show up like anyone else and that is to play and learn…

You are really starting to annoy me with all your stupid insipid questions and spiteful prejudicial ignorant comments such as this…

Perhaps you should get off the computer and get a real LIFE!!!!

  • It might be a good idea if some people read the post before attacking me. Because if they did they might realise that I’m not attacking all professional Dommes. In fact one of my closest friends is a professional Dominatrix. She is actively involved in the scene and is extremely good at her job. But there are a number who are basically just prostitutes who suddenly realized one day that there is a great deal of money to be made in professional domination. They believe that all they is a whip and some fetish wear and that this means that they are now a Dominatrix. How wrong they are. And I’m sorry but dominating somebody for money is vastly different to dominating them within the context of a relationship. You need to chill out. Can you not post an opinion without resorting to insults? Or did I hit a nerve? I never said I was right or wrong. Surely the whole point of having a discussion or bringing up a topic of any kind is so that we can have differing opinions on the subject. If I voice my opinions strongly, well thats because I have a brain.
  • Perhaps you should go back and re-read what you posted. I am not even a pro domme and I was offended by your generalizations. If you didn’t want the feed back perhaps you should have thought before you posted an inflammatory topic. Also the, “one of my closest friends is a pro” statement put red in my eye. It reminds me of people saying oh all my closest friends are “insert race, religion, blah blah here” Own your actions. You made a post from somewhere deep in your ass and now you have to deal with the backlash. If it is too much there is a delete key.
  • My ProDomme has all the power that I freely give to her. I’m sorry that someone has treated you so badly, that all your comments about them are negative. However, If you take a step back and read your statements objectively, you’ll see why so many are upset with them.
    I’ve been seeing My Mistress for 8 Lovely years now. Our bond is strong and we have a very good relationship. I have cried on her shoulder and She mine. We call and Email just to say Hi. Mistress has attended classes with me, we went to the Fetish Ball together. I’m an electrican and have done electrical work on her home for her. I’ll be forever grateful for having met Her.
    A submissive gives away their power to the Dommme or Dom of their choice. If their is no connection their is no pleasure.
  • If you’re going to fetish events and getting offended because the beautiful woman you’ve approached and told all your fetishes to has just handed you a business card, don’t blame her. If you’re going to all these fetish events so rarely that you’re surprised to learn who the pros are, don’t blame her. And if you’re not going to the community events, like munches, in your area to meet someone for a possible relationship, don’t blame the pros for your inability to attract a nonprofessional domme.

I know many pros – I’m one of them – who participate quite actively in their communities, including going to and hosting fetish events and play parties – but believe it or not, already have personal relationships and aren’t looking for more. You don’t know any of these women well enough to know if they have partners, and chances are you’re approaching people a couple of decades younger than yourself. Naturally, the only possible conclusion you’re able to draw is that the ones who hand you business cards must be fakes and mercenaries, just out to fool poor, hapless, utterly sincere guys like yourself.

Take a little responsibility for being involved in your community and getting to know people. Your pissy attitude about the people you approach and the interactions you have doesn’t add up to a universal truth about pro dommes.

Your negative attitude towards dominant women, pro or otherwise, keeps manifesting every time you post. You think you’re being provocative, but your posts are passive/aggressive, mean-spirited, ill-informed and non-constructive. I suspect that if you’ve had nothing but marginally gratifying RT interactions with dominant women and haven’t had an actual long-term relationship with one of us, the fault may not lie with us being less dominant than you think we should be, giving away too much power for filthy lucre, or any of the other negative attributes you repeatedly project onto us.

  • I agree with most of the Ladies’ comments. I would point out that I have seen some women who seem to be more interested in money than relationships, both in the vanilla and the scene world. They do exist. I also find those silly BDSM pornos offensive, where you can tell that the women involved are actually vanilla, and the costuming is all mismatched and folks who begin with being all butch and Domme suddenly are sucking a “sub’s” cock. Actually the greater media portrayal of the lifestyle is a topic I could rant on all day, so let’s get back on topic.
    My point here is while I think @slavedoge is enjoying the inflammatory responses he’s gotten to this post, I am not denying that some women, just like some men, are bogus.
    But none of the Ladies here today appear to meet that description.
  • you consistently post threads that you think are challenging and that you’re asking insightful questions, then always act surprised when people take offense, which happens just about every time. There’s a pattern there and your insistence that you love dominant women doesn’t fit with that pattern.
  • So. When you meet a pro, you think to yourself, _how can I leverage the exchange of money to manipulate this person?_ And with that question in your mind, you’ve come to the conclusion that the prodomme is not a true player, while you, of course, are.

I agree that in the relationship you describe, there is a lack of genuineness, but I would attribute that fakeness to a source other than the professional.

  • I’ve come across a few at the fetish event I go to on a regular basis. And it can be pretty soul destroying when a woman approaches you and acts as if she’s interested in getting to know you and then suddenly whips out her business card. I didnt mean to generalise and I do feel bad if I hurt yer feelings. I dont have a problem with pro dommes. Most of them are wonderful people. As I’m sure you are. You have a really beautiful face
  • Wow, a sub can only stop the session in a pro arrangement? Really? So hmm, I wonder what the lifestylers have been using safewords for all this time. And the sub can only choose to not serve a Domme again in a professional arrangement eh?! I’ll have to tell that to a few of My lifestyle friends. They’ll get a kick from this new info. I will also tell this to the next lifestyle slave I want…

“Hey sorry dude but you can’t use that safeword here. Only subs seeing ProDommes can stop a scene. Oh and My bad for not telling you but you have to serve Me until I don’t want you. Only guys seeing ProDommes can not come back”.

Please tell Me your next post isn’t about submission being a gift LOL. Oh and slavedoge, do us all a favor in your posts and stop generalizing.

  • I don’t think the op is against pro Dommes as s uch ( & I apologise if i misunderstand him also) but i are not opposed to pro Doms, as I have known a number of excellent Pro Doms & the one who got me into the scene so many years ago was one & a very good one.

I am unsure if what the Op means is, in a Pro Dom situation who really is in control, as the sub is paying a fee for a service to no doubt a very capable Domme, but he/she also has some control over what he or she wants because he /she is paying for it.

Now the Pro Dom may say yes I can do that or no i wont do that but I doubt if she will ever say you will do & take whatever i decide you need

Now if that was in a general D/s situation we may just call that topping form the bottom

Yet the sub is under her control, once parameters are set & yes the sub gets to enjoy it (even tho we are led to believe by the BDSM bible that we are only there for Mistress`s pleasure, where in fact it is for mutual pleasure)

So with all that in mind if i have understood the op’s question who does have the control that Pro Dom/client situation.

i apologize if that was not was meant & I am all for someone being a pro Dom if they so wish to & many are excellent Im sure, especially if they are also in the scene privately as a Domme & not just a sex worker, which there is a huge difference

  • no need to apologize for hurting my feelings; you haven’t. People say stupid stuff online every second of every day and me thinking it’s stupid isn’t cause to have hurt feelings. Don’t assign yourself the r you don’t have.

So you’re upset because someone was being pleasant to you but just wanted to give you a business card? Seriously? Salespeople are nice to me in all sorts of situations because that’s how you make a sale. People even try to sell me things at fetish events, believe it or not. Instead of getting all upset that they’re only being nice to me because they want to sell me something, though, then making posts online about how cheap and tawdry they were, toying with my affections by smiling all seductively then handing me a card, I smile and nod and take their card and decide they’re being good businesspeople. Then I consider networking with them because they know their market.

I also go to strip clubs, When a hot stripper comes up to me and it turns out she’s trying to sell me a lap dance and isn’t actually interested in me as a person and doesn’t want to date me, guess what I do? I give the nice lady some money and I sit there and smile and enjoy. And when some adorable thing at an S&M club comes up and is pleasant to me and nice and then I learn that she’s really hoping I’ll hire her, I don’t get upset about that, either. Taking every little thing personally and casting aspersions on the integrity of people who aren’t as interested in me as I am in them would be grossly immature.

Some business people have more integrity than others. You got burned by how many? One? Or maybe two hot women approached you and gave you their card? Therefore you base this whole rant that’s the subject of the thread on whether some pro dommes might be insincere? But the ones who argue with you here are clearly sincere, certainly some nice ladies, and real pretty too? I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to take that as a compliment, coming from you.

  • I agree with Saskia and several others here that your posts are misogynistic, ignorant, ridiculous generalizations that have little to no basis in fact.

What I want to know is this: If a sub wants a Domme to control him…and he pays her for it, does it make her any less “in control” of him because he wants it? NO! Does it make the bruises less “real” because he paid to have them administered? Does money being involved REALLY change anything that one might experience in a session? Not in MINE! Not in my Domme friends sessions either!

If you think you’re being misunderstood, you might ask yourself why ALL of the people reading this are taking offense. You are the common denominator! If it’s not your words WTF is it? YOUR post is the topic here, either own and back up your stupid sweeping statements or stop posting this kind of crap.

Whatever your motive, it just serves to make you appear to be a clueless asshole or a TROLL, and I am fairly certain that’s not your intention.

I do not play with safewords, I don’t do a lot of negotiating about the specifics of the scene, whether it’s a pro or personal session. I have them fill out a questionnaire asking about their activities and what their favorite things are and what their hard limits are. Sort of like “Yes” “No” Maybe list of things, then I create a session that I want to do based on what they have told me…that does not mean I cater to them!

I think that some self-reflection would be good for you. Maybe you could figure out why you have such a negative attitude towards women? I am sure that with the attitude you have, no women would want to hang out with you, kinky or not.

  • well,I am confused about what my face looks like having to do with this topic. I know a number of pro dommes who are amazing human beings. When we have been at events together I have never seen anyone whip out a card. Not even once. perhaps you have had a bad run with people who wont look at you unless you have money glued to every available surface of your body. As far as generalizations I spoke of here goes…
    “When I say professional what I’m referring to is women who have no real genuine interest in the lifestyle but whose sole purpose is to make as much money as possible” there is one. To assume that every pro domme is courting your money and that lies their sole reason for being there.
    I am sure that many of them really don’t care that much about you doll.
    You claim to have a close friend who is a pro. Why don’t you ask her some questions about the topic instead of pissing random strangers off?
  • Try a little of that self-control yourself.

No shit, there’s a difference between a paid session and a relationship. The difference, however, is not the trite one you’re suggesting, with multiple milquetoast and meaningless caveats, which is that a pro domme has no power. There are different types of BDSM relationships all over, and a financial component is only one of many.

You really are a button pusher. You like making inane comments, then you backpedal, pretend innocence, blame everyone but yourself for their unfavorable reactions, and throw up your hands when it stops being fun.

Here’s a challenge for you: take some time to get to know people in your area. Volunteer for some things, in or out of the kink community. Think with your big head. I don’t know, maybe you grate on nerves in real life the way you do online, but put out a little energy for other people instead of finding ways to always talk about how everyone else (female) is the problem. You put out so much negative energy here, and it seems to keep you coming back for more, but there’s got to be some way for you to channel all that energy in a more constructive direction. It’d be good for you and a blessed relief for women here and maybe someone in real life would get something out of it, too.

  • “I can say whatever I like. you have no power over me.”

With your broad generalizations, and an attitude like that it seriously makes me wonder how you got to be a group moderator. Worse yet it genuinely worries me about the status of this group, especially since your a “male sub” looking for a “domme” and your going to post garbage like that to the female population of this group?

If you want to be thoughtful and insightful, or gain insight… try posting crap like this as a question, not like its some universal fact. You might find yourself getting actual responses instead of pages of flames because you come off as a chauvinistic jackass who doesn’t know his head from a hole in the ground.

Just my thoughts, take em or leave em… But sit and think about how you’re coming off to people, proofread what you post, and consider the response you’ll get with what your writing before you click on “say it!” (ie your “sarcastic” thread about women without a hint of sarcasm in it)

  • But I’m curious as to how this applies to a professional Dominatrix.((((? here)))))

When I say professional what I’m referring to is women who have no real genuine interest in the lifestyle but whose sole purpose is to make as much money as possible. (((you make it sound like pro dommes that don’t live the lifestyle aren’t interested in money?)))

When they go to a fetish event of any time the only reason they are there is to tout for business(((factual generalization, but then again you could apply that to the fetish shops but no one ever complains about them no do they?))).

I have visited a number of professional Dommes over the years, some wonderful, some not so wonderful. But when you strip everything right down isn’t it really just a financial arrangement?(((rhetorical question IE factual generalization))))

The sub goes in, pays the fee, discusses his fantasies and fetishes. Then the session takes place, usually ending in him masturbating.((((factual generalization, again dependant on the domme and contract))))

It can be very enjoyable and can help to relieve stress. But the sub can choose to end the session at any time.(((factual generalization, not always the case and depends on the contract)))

He can choose never to visit that particular Domme again. The Domme might have the power during the session, and a lot of that is down to how good she is at her trade. ((((factual generalization, she could really suck at the trade but your pretty powerless in fuzzy handcuffs and a gag no matter how you look at it))

But the overall power is really with the sub.((((factual generalization))))

I’d be interested in any opinions on this

just to end the topic. there is a vast difference between dominating somebody in a relationship and dominating somebody who is a fee paying client. that was the gist of my topic ((((factual generalization again, unless thats just a very poorly worded question as a response)))

  • Ok. I am going to hold my hands up here and admit that I made a judgement on a couple of bad experiences I had, which I now realise was wrong and more than a little ignorant. my bad completely. I shouldn’t have given the impression that I was judging all professional Dommes due to the hypocrisy of one or two. And before anyone beats on me for that last statement I was there so I can definitely make a dgement on that one.
  • it takes more strength to admit a wrong when its the case than to defend yourself, and it’s a quality that is very sought after. The willow sways in the wind but the steadfast oak topples over. I’m not here to point out wrongs or bash opinions, merely hoping to expand the minds of others with thoughts and experiences, and hope they can hold their heads high with a smile and walk the high road with pride learning from their experiences. I understand where your coming from completely, and sympathize with you just to let you know. I’ve had more run-ins than I would care to think about with what i tend to refer to as “tribute queens.”

It’s a top/bottom relationship… simple as that, hthere is STILL the same power exchange, the same trust needed and they same respect and honor established before you play…

The only difference is time and depth of feeling in that relationship.

It’s casual play for money for those who are honourable. I am a professional dominant who is also part of the local BDSM scene.

Dragonfly

  • sits back and giggles uncontrolably at slavedoge…….. your name alone states that your brain thinks you’re a king…… your words how ever show that your brain and your mouth do not comunicate.
    smiles at the sexy Twisted One. yes You are beautiful and no it does not have anythng to do with this thread but hey what can i say i love to look at You.
    as most know i am a switch. i have been asked many times to go Pro but have yet to take that step. if I did take that step it would be for 2 reasons. 1. The Money (economy requires I can pay for the toys and space each scene is done in) 2. is for the thrill of helping someone and teach someone what a wonderful life this lifestyle can be.
    the question is would I hand My card out at events Hell Yes I would. It only makes sense to advertise your business. Would I approach someone like you????? um NOPE. I would walk and talk and learn and if someone showed an interest in My services I would offer a card as a means of connection.
    are there fakes out there YES. but tell me something slavedoge are there fakes in all aspects of life? I have seen them in almost every part of life I have encountered. guess I just find the fakes and flakes everywhere lol.

Blows a kiss to the Twisted One and waves a heart felt hello to A/all the O/others here as this grl is new to this forum.

  • This is the thread that never ends, it just goes on and on my firends. Somebody started posting it not knowing what it was and now it will go on and on forever just because this is the thread that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends. Somebody started posting it not knowing what it was and now it will go on and on forever just because this is the thread that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends. Somebody started posting it not knowing what it was and now it will go on and on forever just because this is the thread that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends.
  • Dated a guy labeled ‘slave’ that had been going to prodommes since the ’80s. He was useless to me. Yah, I was new and I ‘trained’ with her for about 4 hours. He had absolutely no tolerance, no patience, wanted served by his masochistic desires. That was his domme, his desires ONLY.

Now begs the question to me : what’s the difference between strippers serving men’s ‘desires’ and prodommes except for the fetishwear, the ‘skillz’ (some of em can even pole dance) and what about the money?

Ok, some men would say the strippers are just as financially dominating, but they’d never have one for a mate. That’s the diff when a prodomme is also life/style. But not by much. Each CAN have relationships outside their ‘professions’. We all do.

Some ‘professions’ are questionable. What about taxes? I have no idea. shrugs I’m not an “independent business Woman”. Hm, I wonder if there are grants for such things. It’s not like there’s a boss except the money and lust.

MissPlease – there are clients like the one you’ve described who are selfish, self-serving jerks who are incapable of being trained to be of any use long-term. There are also plenty of genuine submissives who see professionals, would love a 24/7 relationship and are as good as gold. There are some submissives who see pro dommes because their behavior is annoying and selfish enough that no lifestyle domme would accept them. They’re the kinds of guys that make my profession unpleasant. The genuine submissives are what make it worthwhile.

And taxes? Srsly? There are people in every profession who skip taxes. Why assume that professional dominants don’t, or that those who don’t are somehow more ethically deficient than anyone else who doesn’t pay taxes, or cheats on taxes? Nobody has the market cornered on financial irresponsibility.

  • Well,it just so happens that I am a Professional Domme. I am also one that feel that if you do not know the answer just ask.
    Pro Dommes are in the business for certain reasons…never the same. I get questions from Dommes all the time who want to learn how to do what I do. Can everyone become a pro domme? I do not think so, but that is how I feel.
    Hell Yes I am in it for the money and the natural high I get when a sub is behind me with all my purchases that he just spent thousands on. As I am sitting drinking Martini’s with my friends while my sub is within eye sight and rushes in to pay the bill when I motion. I have been in this busines since 1994 and 5 of my Financial Submissives have been in this relationship with me since day 1.
    I now have 12 Financial Subs from all over the world.

When I first met with them, they had one chance to list all of the things that they were seeking in a D/S relationship. Do I give them what they want? Oh Hell No, why should I, just because they ask or request it from me? I am the one in charge and not them…they do exactly what I say or it costs them big time…that is the only thing I do that pleases them. Perhaps I should post pics of the Cars, Truck, Motor Cycle, Hundreds of Designer Shoes and clothing and the my bank statements for all to see.

Do I let these Subs Jack off in front of me? No, there is nothing sexual on my part and sex is not up for discussion with me. If they want to Jack Off or Fuck…they can go home to their wife or hire a prostitute because I am not the one. These Submissives are in it for the same reason I am. They like to give up that financial power and I like to take it from them.

Slavedoge, let me tell you and everyone else….this shit is not all that it is cracked up to be and I challenge anyone who says it is. It is very hard work, even though you don’t live in the same State or Country. There is still a ton of drama I have to put up with, I just charge for it.

I also attend a ton of fetish events. I go because I like meeting others in the community. Do I have a business card? Yes I do. But I am not pushing my services as a Professional Domme. I am out there pushing my line of fetish clothing.

As for Scenes? Those are free, it’s the headache I get from all the whining I charge for.

  • i should begin by saying I’m not a Prodomme(shoot, i don’t have a dominant bone in my body) nor have i ever sought out the services of a professional. We have befriended, and I have played with, people who dominate others professionally, who are also lifestyle Dominants or switches.
    That said, i don’t think that Dominants who choose to make a profession out of D/s and power exchange should be vilified simply for their choice. Domination is a form of power, money is a form of power–paying to be Dominated is simply an exchange of power *wink.

In all seriousness, I don’t think blanket statements hold true, and this case is no different. One can’t make a blanket statement that Prodomination is a form of Service Topping in which the bottom is actually in control because s/he is paying and s/he is only willing to do X,Y, and Z activity. I think that might be true of some Prodommes, sure, but I think there are also probably many who approach it with an attitude that Domination means that service and play are about her wants and her desires. In fact,i have met many Prodommes and former Prodommes who adopt this attitude. In this situation,the payment operates as a form of consent, same as the lifestyle submissive gives the Dominant his or her verbal and emotional consent. It’s no different than a submissive who has a safeword–s/he too has the power to stop a scene.

And even, as in the case of Sir and my relationship, where a submissive does not have a safeword and therefore does not possess the power to stop scenes–it doesn’t mean that its nonconsensual. I consented to the relinquishing of power, and ultimately i have power over my own fate because even though my Sir has total control over every aspect of my life, I could still choose to leave the relationship if it were in my best interests to do so. i don’t see that as much different.

Also, I don’t think that a submissive who has paid for a Domination session, and who fills out a checklist of interests, desires, and limits is doing anything much different than a lifestyle submissive does when s/he “negotiates” with a Dominant or Top. In both cases it depends on the individual Dominant whether or not s/he is going to give the submissive exactly what s/he asked for, to give him/her some of what s/he asked for, or none of it. His or her reasons for doing so are still her own.

The problem that I see with ProDomination is not with the industry itself, but with the individuals who give it a bad name (same as in every industry)–individuals who engage in dangerous activities without really knowing what they’re doing, or who take financial advantage of their clients. i haven’t any idea if the industry is self-policing or if there exist certifications of quality or things like that to expose dangerous individuals–but it might not be a bad idea.

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