She is giving it (not really) to him hard.
I’ve been under figurative lock and key 5 days ago, and the inititial shock to my system was intense. Days 1 and 2 were incredibly difficult, especially since there was a lot of interactive T&D. I never thought I’d even make it to day 3. Two nights ago, I didn’t sleep at all. I tossed and turned, inadvertently edging myself as my mind raced. As I lay in bed, I replayed all the conversations we had had about the new challenges, rewards, punishments, etc. that would come into play as we headed down this path. I was excited, but also very nervous.
In the last day or so, that has all changed. I now understand the comments I occassionally see from submissive men who say they want chastity for life. I always thought that this was just fantasy BS. But two days ago, I had the epiphany that I am a better person overall when I’m in my so-called subspace. I’m more focused — obviously a better slave — and in the moment like I have never been in my entire life. And I don’t want that to end.
I guess I’m realizing that denial is a reward unto itself. Before, I never dreamed I could give myself up to chastity. Now, I never want to give up the delicious feelings that come with this new state of denial.
I’m sure this is a roller coaster that others have experienced. I’d love to hear your thoughts.