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Does punishment have to be painful?

When a sadistic Domme punishes her sub is it necessary to inflict pain? I think it can be just as effective to overstimulate the senses. You know – tease and denial. Or can punishment be to twist a desire to the point of pain? For example: forcing masturbation and orgasm repeatedly until the desire for orgasm is spent because of the pain involved. What is the method the Dommes here would use to punish self-serving subs?

Answers:

  • Punishment does not have to be painful at all. Actual punishment can be things like writing a 10000-word essay on why that was wrong and what you are going to do to make sure you never repeat the same mistake.
  • I don’t punish adults at all. If my sub does something that displeases me, we discuss it.

But if I were into punishment, I would use the withdrawal of myself, either totally or as the Dom. Or a severe lecture.

forcing masturbation and orgasm repeatedly until the desire for orgasm is spent because of the pain involved.

  • I prefer to weaken them with a test of endurance. Put them in a posture and make them hold it until their muscles ache.

I think that tease and denial and forced masturbation only feeds a self-serving submissive. They are getting exactly what they want.

  • Tease and denial/forced masturbation is the stuff that fantasies are made of and when I need to give a consequence/punishment – fantasy should be the furthest thing from his mind.

Corner time….removal from my bed……writing (sentences or an essay perhaps)…………lecture…..tedious chores……these are all much more effective.

  • I’m in agreement with Ms FuzzySlippers. I am an adult. I submit to other adults. If I fail at something the person i submit to wants me to do, it is because, one, I didn’t understand what She wanted, or two, I haven’t developed the skills to do what She wanted, or three, i am not capable of doing what She wanted. In none of these situations is “punishment” called for.
  • I do have a punishment dynamic as part of my relationships. However, punishment is not played, nor is it play related, nor is it physical attention. It is generally something tedious and dull and related to the infraction.
  • My punishments, on the very rare occasion that I use them, are designed to either fix the problem by review or reinforcement of proper behavior or to atone for the time and effort the problem cost me. They have nothing to do with pain or sex or play.

My pain and teasing and all that stuff are for play. I do whatever seems amusing or interesting at the time, for that.

  • So many assumptions! I don’t use play for punishment. I find a positive reinforcement model to be much more effective, which involves rewarding good behavior and ignoring the behavior you don’t want. The few times I have ever used punishment in a Ds situation I have had the person write an essay explaining why they were wrong, why the thing they screwed up is important, or something along those lines.
  • It has been very informative. I wasn’t really thinking of being forced to masturbate as ‘fun.’ I was thinking in terms of perhaps doing that in some way not so fun. Somehow being ‘chafed’ or ‘rubbed raw’ by the experience of being (dare I say) ‘overstimulated’ would be it’s own punishment. Kind of like a kid who gets caught smoking a cigarette behind the garage and being forced to smoke a whole cigar in a closet. Tough to live through but the negative reinforcement teaches the lesson.
  • I wasn’t really thinking of being forced to masturbate as ‘fun.’ I was thinking in terms of perhaps doing that in some way not so fun.

You’re kidding, right?

Somehow being ‘chafed’ or ‘rubbed raw’ by the experience of being (dare I say) ‘overstimulated’ would be its own punishment.*
Yes, one can have so many orgasms it becomes difficult to orgasm again. And if the body won’t orgasm – no one can order it. And maybe then it isn’t fun. But meanwhile, you’ve had how many fun orgasms?

And yes, you can make someone masturbate with sandpaper or icy hot or sandpaper and icy hot. But you said it’s for a masochist, so that’s not going to be arousing… why?

The bottom line is that most masochists and many submissives can eroticism ANYTHING called punishment, even if they hate it at the moment. They eroticize the whole idea that the Domme can punish them. It gets so if the Domme doesn’t punish, she isn’t mean enough.

Luckily there are Dommes who like punishment, and some who like to pretend punishment is punishment and every combination thereof. It’s a compatibility issue when a punishment craving sub finds himself with a “I don’t punish adults” Domme.

  • If i fail at something the person I submit to wants me to do, it is because, one, I didn’t understand what She wanted, or two, I haven’t developed the skills to do what She wanted, or three, I am not capable of doing what She wanted. In none of these situations is “punishment” called for.

And sometimes someone just forgets – and even that isn’t caused for punishment. Because a good sub will have already beaten himself up for forgetting.

If punishment has any role it’s to get said good sub to stop beating himself up and to provide closure. But then I usually just do a symbolic swat on the tush.tough mistress with a gun

  • I think tease and denial would only work for me with a chastity device. I would tease him FOREVER and let him THINK he was going to be released for orgasm and then just as I was about to unlock the device I would suddenly “remember that time” and suggest that perhaps I should keep the device on just a little longer until I forget about his infraction. Unfortunately (for him), I have a good memory. In this way he gets verbal praise for the things he is doing correctly NOW (aww what a good boy you are… I will have to reward you later–as I touch his crotch and tease him making him think he is going to get released) but then he can realize how serious the infraction was that he committed that one time when I suddenly remember it as I am about to release him and then suggest something like “But you were good TODAY so how about I take you to get ice cream?” lol
  • I think that people forget that Sadist and Masochist are two sides of a coin. If something tickles your sadistic urges odds are it will tickle a masochist’s masochistic urges.

I can’t think of a punishment that would actually work as a real punishment that I would enjoy.

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