What is it that you Mistresses adore, fantasize about?

Can it be done?

What is it that you Mistresses adore, fantasize about.

What qualities do you wish your servants had more of?

Impeccable presence, hygiene? Courteous, respectful mannerisms?
What’s the best way to impress a Mistress’s, tender heart?

Stopping short of charm school, what behaviors are pre-requisites for most of you?


  • I assume the word you were looking for above, was “manners”, not “manors” / “mannerisms”? Stating we are interested in “Impeccable manors” implies an interest in acquiring property – and by that, I mean land and houses, not subs lol.
  • I personally am interested in impeccable manors. I’d like one beachside. Difficult to keep impeccable with all that sand but not impossible. Also a country manor. The South of France would be perfect.

Now buy me a manor in the south of France and you can consider me seduced.

  • Seducing tends to imply that something is being done which is out of character. Just be yourself and if you have good “raw materials” that are interesting to a Mistress you might find somebody compatible and willing to add the finishing touches.
  • I take it that you are talking here about how to attract a Mistress, rather than how to get a Mistress that you already have in bed with you.

I would say that the two most important prerequisites for me are showing up (on time is extra-nice), and a willingness to put the needs of the Mistress above your own desires. If you can do those things consistently you will be ahead of at least 80% of people that describe themselves as submissive.

  • Manning up and doing what you say you are going to do is high on my list. Having adult appropriate behaviors, manners, and attitudes. Being realistic, not playing online fantasy games. Not calling me Mistress, when I am not yours. Being able to converse. Understanding that women are complicated, and I am more complicated than that. Respecting other Mistress’s because a man treats women with respect and honor until proven otherwise. Dressing appropriately, you are not a teenager.

kate seduced me because she is intelligent, complicated, passionate, and looks fucking hot in stilettoes. All of those things are important to me.

  • Obeying even simple directives is the thing that catches my eye first. Answering any questions I ask honestly is also important. Showing you have a grasp of reality is another thing that will get you past the “why are you bothering me” stage. Here are a few general do not ever do if you want to catch the eye of a female dominant.
  1. Do not say “anything you want” if she asks you what you enjoy having done to you. If she did not want to really know what you enjoy she would not have asked.
  2. If given an assignment DO IT the way she has directed. She is looking to see if you can obey or even want to obey. An example of this is: Order: Send me a fantasy that will be able to be done in real life easily that involves serving and does not involve any sex act. So far 99% of the subs told to do that end up sending something that involves “servicing” a gang of Dommes or being paraded in drag all over the place. Not one has had the smarts to fantasise about doing laundry, washing the car, mowing the lawn. In other words, Dommes want to know if you see “service” as only sex or as making her life easier.
  3. Do NOT go on and on and on about how you can please her sexually. Believe me when I say a Hitachi vibrator is much better than any male can ever hope to be. It is always there when you want it, does things the way you want it done, and never runs out of energy.
    If you do not understand what she is telling you to do ASK for clarification. That shows you have the ability to think. Doing something the way you think she wants it done when you are not sure what was meant is simply stupid.
    Do not send the same introduction to a list of 20 Dommes in your area at the same time. Believe me Dommes network much better than you can ever dream of. If you hit on all of them at the same time it will take the maximum of about 3 days (if that long) for you to be identified as a “wanker” for that very reason.
  4. Be polite and understand that “no” is an answer you are going to get often. If you write back a nasty reply to someone who is not interested in you it will get around quickly. (see rule number 5).
  5. Offer things that will make her life easier in person. Learn to cook, clean, do car maintenance, landscaping and anything else you can think of tha will free her time up so she can relax. Another thing is to learn to talk to her about things that do not center around sex and how often you want/need it or your burning desire to be in chastity. Learn about music, books, current events (sports are not the only current event out there). Show her you are a well-rounded companion as well as a sub/slave.
  6. Do NOT come at this with the mental attitude of “if I do this or that she will play with me”. That shows up very quickly in how things are done and we are NOT unpaid pro-Dommes. By that I mean unless SHE suggests you clean her garage and then she will beat you, offer service without expectation of being “served” in return. You will get a positive reaction very quickly if your attitude is one of service not of barter.
  7. Ask HER what SHE wants and then do it quietly, efficiently, and cheerfully. You will definitely get positive attention by showing that mindset.
    Follow the above suggestions and you will be beating Dommes off with a stick. I am sure the Ladies here can add to this list but at least you now have an idea of what is truly seductive to a Domme.
  • Nothing turns me off faster than someone that needs to grow up still and has no clue as to who they are. This is why I don’t play with newbies.

And to add to Dama’s list … Do little things like bringing me my favorite flowers just because. Not being ordered or holidays. If you wait for special occasions to do things they aren’t as special. Do simple things without being asked to do them. Washing my car, doing the laundry. If you see it needs to be done, don’t wait for an order to do it.

Most of all, don’t try to do these things unless you enjoy doing them. We can tell if you don’t. You will come off as a fake trying to please to get what you want. True submission is what will seduce any domme.

  • Here is more on the topic…….

Q: Can it be done?

A: Yes it can be done.

Q: What is it that you Mistresses adore, fantasize about?
A: I adore MONEY! Winning the Mega Millions is my fantasy however since I have not done that let’s just focus on reality. That is what I believe gets so many in trouble here. They get caught up in their fantasy and they do not separate it from reality especially when it comes to their sexuality. If you are talking about a sincere slave that is seeking a Master/Mistress (Please take no offense and chose whichever title you are comfortable with 🙂 thanks) Stay grounded yourself and be genuine and authentic to those that seek your guidance and support. Tell them that is the kind of slave you are seeking as well.

Q: What qualities do you wish your servants had more of?
A: Not sure what you mean here about qualities because my slave is LOYAL, Honest, Attentive, Caring, Loving, Committed I am not saying she is perfect for me (a Transgender Male -> Female); but the thing that first came to my mind was rather than qualities, TIME for both of us!

I want to know they have the time for me and are there ready willing to serve me in the capacity negotiated. FOR THE RECORD, the service is about Mistress, not your “ass” – for the lack of the better words, Oh yes, I could have said the slave, I guess I could have said that, “BUTT” (and I did mean to say that, it seems that is how many approach us. what a turn off. If you want to attract a Mater/Mistress do not lead with your ass or your cock they will get you nowhere except some occasional play.

latex gloved with heavy makeup

Now for the personal rant: If you want to be serviced GO PAY FOR IT. If you want to serve someone then seek them out and sincerely ask them HOW MAY YOU SERVE THEM and DO what and when asked all legal of course remember to also discuss your needs as a slave i.e. if you need to have lets say your penis cut off (just as an extreme example – laughing) and this was a hard limit for her but she knew that Master/Mistress FxUxCxKxUxUP could do that for you with no problem?????? Well then if you are getting your needs met great. (For the RECORD I would have a problem with this example but I hope I am getting my point across the slave is getting their needs met I just have a sick sense of humor and need to laugh).

Q: Impeccable presence, hygiene? Courteous, respectful mannerisms? What’s the best way to impress a Mistress’s, tender heart? Stopping short of charm school, what behaviors are pre-requisites for most of you?
A: A good listener and I do not mean that are not talking (laughing) I mean the slave is actively listening and engaged. …..Back to reality….. Make a list of the things that are important to you and I would have my Master/Mistress list them down as well and negotiate on things that would be the deal-breaker and have this conversation early. Yes, we say that if they are to serve us they are to obey but you know there are some things that are just a part of us like you know you may have fetish men wear women panties however his mother abused this male slave when he was growing up and dressed him as a little girl he may not ever want to wear a pair of panties in his life again. As the Mistress, you must be careful not to harm your slave. You too must be willing to listen and negotiate for in your relationship. As a slave, you should be willing to divulge those dark secrets to assist your Master/Mistress. I cannot tell you how helpful this will be for you.
If you have a survey please hand it to each other. If you do not make one and have each other fill it out. Just as a Master/Mistress has the right to interview the slave should be interviewing the Master/Mistress this is the time to do it because once you have conceded your will it is not the time to say “Oh I want to step out of role” or “I need a break”. I would also offer that both seek training or groups that will assist you if you are new.

Also I must state what is important to me is just not important to you. I would say that if you are a Romantic try and find a slave that suits you and slaves are honest if you are a romantic find a Master/Mistress that suits you. If you are a neat freak find one that can help you. If you are a slob well good luck (laughing), no I am just kidding; there is a match for you too. Both the Master/Mistress and slave should to come together and have a conversation on what is important to both and decide what they will be focusing on however the Master/Mistress will have the final decision and determine the direction. If you are a mismatch you are apt to drive each other insane. I strongly suggest that you find what you have in common so that you can work to stay together ……is that not the goal to find like minded people and to partner……. to find “family” yes I am greedy I want more 🙂 that is something you ought to talk about as well… can you handle multiple slaves in your life?

  • Insert normal caveats “we Mistresses” are not a homogeneous group.

Can it be done?

Assuming you’re actually talking about seduction in the sense of enticing someone into a sexual situation – it’s difficult. I tend to prefer being the aggressor.

What is it that you Mistresses adore, fantasize about.

Generally, I don’t know I’m not all Mistresses and I don’t know anyone who is. Individually, that someone gets to know as I get to know them. It’s not something I just post on a public board. Learning it is part of the skill.

What qualities do you wish your servants had more of? Impeccable presence, hygiene? Courteous, respectful mannerisms? What’s the best way to impress a Mistress’s, tender heart?

secretary with exposed boobs

Stopping short of charm school, what behaviors are pre-requisites for most of you?

Behaviors? Not going there. Attributes? Common Sense, manners, sense of humor.

  • If a sub would like to ‘seduce’ Me, they should start with two really basic, obvious actions.

be punctual. It pisses me off and frustrates me when I’m waiting for you to pick me up, come over, etc.
be available. I often hear ‘I’ll do anything … so why is it so damned hard to get over to my house and do some work? Use a planner/blackberry and manage your appts with me as you would the most important thing you have going on. I’m reasonable but scheduled.
yes, I’m grouchy.

  • I’m fiending to respond to some of you directly, so as to elaborate on the thoughts you’ve provoked. Is that allowed?

I suppose I should have specified more about my use of the words ‘Seduce’. As I did not mean entirely in a physical sense, moreso a spiritual, emotional, mental tense. Furthermore, as Mrs. Caroline pointed out so eloquently, to seduce would seem out of character for a purely dominant mistress. For the word ‘seduce’ comes from Latin, seducer; to lead away. Sexual connotations aside, the question in plain English is how can one lead or influence a mistress & is that even possible? Possibly in the context of some form or agent of a relationship.

Is it impossible/hopeless for me to think I could in some way, implicitly influence any aspect of a relationship with a Mistress?
Is that a perilous notion? To think that she would give up some of her power to allow me some form of control, and as I fantasize, to the extreme, perhaps to allow me to do unto her, as she has done unto thee.

  • I think it’s wonderful that you both have a very long and enriched history with each other. I, OTOH, am essentially starting over with my boy, doing it MY way. I can’t quite put my finger now on why that would be different, it just feels that way to me.

Maybe this is it–I have no interest in entertaining male subs who might view me as a “good catch” (or any kind of catch, for that matter). If I want something, I go get it. Not the other way around.

Does that make better sense? I pick him. He doesn’t get to pick me. It’s fun playing the male role for once in my life. 🙂

But to answer the OP’s question, qualities I look for are fairly similar to what others have mentioned. Intelligence, ability to carry on a coherent conversation, compassion, a little “stoic-ness” to his character, responsible, stable, and able to keep up with this hormonally crazed, perimenopausal broad in the sack (and not feel the least bit intimidated by that!).

If I think he might measure up, I strike up a conversation with him. That’s just how I operate.

  • Honesty and integrity go a long way for me- seriously. I remember once when I was a “baby Domme” and I was going to meet a guy in a coffee shop. He no-showed then begged for forgiveness and another chance because he “chickened out”. He promised it would not happen again and I said- I know it won’t because I won’t meet you now. Hopefully, he learned. At the time, I had given up a lot to live this lifestyle and I KNEW this is what I needed and wanted in my life- if you don’t know yet, please wait until you do.

It is ok to be “real”- there is no perfect fantasy Domme or perfect fantasy sub/slave. We are all people with good and bad traits. I guess this is a second to the “know yourself” suggestion! 🙂

If you say you are going to do something- DO IT. Or have a good reason for it- like you got in a car accident and ended up in the hospital NOT “I just forgot”. Sometimes things happen but if things are always happening to you to prevent you from doing things you say you will do, then you look like a flake- NOT what you want.

Listen- don’t assume. Not all Mistresses are alike. Most of my lady friends are Dommes or switches- and we are all very different and like very different things. Sure- most ladies love a good foot rub- but some actually don’t. I don’t like diamonds and NEVER want diamond jewelry unless it is acquired in very specific ways.

Oh and for the record- I am also really into impeccable manors! LOL 🙂