He walked home back from work, mulling over the humiliations of the day which mostly centered around his employer Miss Clare Reed and her comments regarding his work, which voiced in such mocking tones, had made him blush and feel embarrassed in front of the mainly female office workers. She never felt any compunction at telling off her male staff in public, whereas she was always polite enough to take women privately to one side.
Still, he had more pressing things to concern him.
His family, or at least the members who mattered, had come to the decision about who he should marry, and this momentous thought was preoccupying him. At 21 it was the normal sort of time for a boy to be married off and he had been expecting it. Nonetheless, it was a huge event in his life and not without attendant concerns on his part.
He made sure he did not dawdle as his Mother, Grandmother, Sisters, and Aunt were all waiting at home to introduce him to his Wife to be. He was keen to avoid their punishments tonight of all nights.
Walking home from work was normal, as men were not permitted to drive until married and given permission from his Wife.
He wondered which of the ladies it might be, the one who had finally negotiated with his female relatives to take him on and would she permit him to learn to drive. He hoped so as it would be very convenient but she might be the kind of Wife who liked to drive for herself, in which case he would sit meekly by her side in the passenger seat.
He recalled the three women who had interviewed him as part of the Betrothal and wasn’t sure which one would be best. All three were older, that was also quite normal, after all, they mostly took their time to pick the right husband as they had a lot to consider about any prospective spouse.
From his mid-teens, he had been schooled in the subject of being a good and obedient husband and he knew how very important it was to show correct submission and deference to one’s Wife. She would be the family leader, who made the decisions and set any household rules. As a good and well brought up boy, he knew men were to be quiet, well mannered, docile, pleasing and good company, seeing women as their natural leaders.
He knew what shame it brought to a boy and his family if he didn’t submit to the strict social etiquette regarding gender behavior. In his community, this was tightly observed and so any deviance or defiance was unthinkable. A good boy stayed at home, under the correct matriarchal control until passed on to his new Wife and her female relatives.
There were many social inequalities to accept as a male and he had done his best. He understood why men were not allowed a vote and why they could not own property in their own right, all that was too complicated and important to be left to men who tend toward silliness and lack of attention. Still, he tried to be focussed and show his intelligence, after all, within reason these skills and attributes would be an asset to his Wife.
He knew he must never put himself forward, be loud or aggressive but to be a charming and attractive companion to his Wife. It was a genuine desire, after all, he had been brought up properly and knew he should always put women first and himself second.
He was though shy, rather nicely so, actually, if he knew better. Women, despite being a force to be reckoned with in life generally, individually as non-family members could whip up any number of all quite intense emotion within him. This was more than a little difficult for him to bear upon occasion.
His sexuality, such as it was, he realized had been created in the same way his deferential manners had. Molded and formed by women who knew men were best served by knowing their place and being happy to be in it. His sexual desires were therefore rather submissive and passive, he dreamed of feeling that he sexually belonged to a woman and that she would know what to do with him. He also knew that having any naughty sexual thoughts, or worse, responses could get him into trouble.
Along with the ‘Good Husband’ training, he has been subject to fairly rigorous schooling on the subject of what good boys must and must not do sexually.
Teaching is one thing but going through adolescence and late teens is a sexually turbulent time and he was often in a lather of sexual desire that he knew would meet with much family disapproval. Well brought up boys had self-control and kept their minds and bodies clean and decent. It was shameful to be caught up in sexual fantasies and selfishly exploring his own needs.
Boys were to learn that sex was for the woman to govern, just as she would all else in the marriage. Her needs, if she had sexual needs, would be met, that was a given and the male must simply hope she saw fit to meet his. If she did not, well, he must learn acceptance and denial and put his energies to good use elsewhere. That was a scary thought as was burdened with a high sex drive and desires which simmered and burned away, even though as a good boy he did try not to give in to sexual impropriety. His sexual existence was one of quiet and hopeful yearning stained, quite literally, by shameful episodes of nocturnal releases. He had, with huge efforts of will refrained from touching himself. That he had been taught was indecent and would lead to a boy finding it very hard to be taken in marriage. A self-abuser was never a desirable prospect for a beautiful and strong Wife.
He was nearing his family home, a large rather handsome townhouse in an elegant street, the very epitome of architectural correctness and order, ideas which had been long drilled into him, as what made the world work.
He had conducted himself properly on the way home, he knew that, so he could enter relieved, confident he would not feel bound to confess as he sometimes had when he had caught a young woman’s eye or had allowed himself to gaze at women and start dreamily imagining.
Even so, he was nervous. After all, inside the house with his family would be the woman who would take him and make him her husband. The woman who would remove him from the care and mostly loving discipline of the matriarchy he had always known. A woman who naturally would have her own ideas about what he must do, and importantly, not do, in order to be a good, obedient, faithful spouse. He was nervous and worse, his penis, traitorous thing, had begun to twitch into life. He neared the door, and a sense of wonderful and helpless anxiety was filling him. Soon, he would belong completely to his Wife.
He knocked on the door, not being allowed his own key and waited to be admitted. His father opened the door and motioned him inside, laying a finger on his lips to suggest quiet.
He followed his father into the kitchen and stood, fidgeting, not sure what would happen next.
The older man informed his son that he must wait patiently here, as the womenfolk were still discussing important marriage business in the drawing room and he was not required at this point.
A cup of tea was offered and he sat with it, trying to order his thoughts but..oh, it was hard.
There had been three women who had responded to his being formally offered up for marriage and they had visited one at a time. he had been formally presented to each of them and was ‘interviewed’ by each in a way he found both exciting and bewildering. The mystery of marriage was quite beyond anything he could really imagine. He felt he had babbled and stumbled over questions which he should have been perfectly confident with.
There had been a shortish and attractive blonde woman Miss Ellen, a tall red-haired beauty Miss Charlotte and Miss Sarah, dark with pretty green eyes.
He could not work out who it might be as the women were talking quite inaudibly from his distant seat and he knew better than to eavesdrop.
He wondered when he would be wed and where he would live. Would his wife wish him to keep his paid employment, or make him take a different one or keep him at home as house-keeper?
His mind wandered to underwear and he fervently hoped she would do away with the one really humiliating ritual he was forced to undergo here the underpants control.
Even thinking about it sent shivers of shame through him. To help him to stay sexually pure, he was made to wear one pair of underpants each day, given to him each morning, and in return, he had to hand over his used pair.
His Mother or Aunt would inspect the pants for signs of sexual activity, either penis dribbling or much worse nocturnal emissions. He dreaded each day having to submit to such indignity but his family was clear, he needed that discipline and control to ensure he was not engaging in anything they would be ashamed of.
He thought that his mother was generally quite understanding but if more than one nocturnal release was detected within a week, he was spanked on his bare bottom in front of the whole family, and this was utterly mortifying as well as painful.
As he had got older, the punishment was intensely shameful, he wanted so much to be good and somehow this one issue kept on causing him such humiliating chastisement. He had found he was punished more often now and each time, he would become tearful, and promise to try harder.
He hated to let all his womenfolk down. he worked very hard not to dwell on sexual thoughts, taking cold showers when he felt the urge building or finding some arduous task to do which wore him out and made his penis subside meekly. However, lately he had been getting punished twice a week and his bottom was left sore after each lengthy wooden spoon spanking or more especially now, as they had found an old leather strap and used that firmly upon his bottom and thighs.
Each time he was punished, he was also made to stand, pants down in the corner for a while to think about his ‘wickedness’ as his Aunt called it.
He took this shameful treatment with resigned unhappiness. He did not feel the punishment cruel or unwarranted, he was desperate to be pleasing and obedient. All his schooling had made him feel a nagging sense of inferiority in the face of strong confident women, they were fearless, outgoing, bright, beautiful and competent. He felt silly, inept and prone to doing naughty things. He needed a firm hand to put him right.
His father returned and told him to go and stand by the Drawing Room door as he would be summoned soon.
He really had little idea of what they might have been discussing but he knew males were formally handed over into marriage and that wedded state conferred certain authority over him to his bride in perpetuity.
Had he heard he would have been even more embarrassed than ever.
The conversation had been about his having a very high sexual drive, which they had tried to curb with the underpants and the spankings but they felt this increase in sexual misbehavior meant he must be ready for being married off.
His family explained he was very keen to please women, very hard working, obedient and intelligent. He had because of his rather exceptional good looks been kept more cloistered than might generally have been the case. It had been necessary to preserve his purity and marry him off to a respectable woman very quickly now.
They had agreed a date and time, the day after tomorrow.
He was called through and so he walked into the next stage of his life