How do I choose my Domme Name?

I’ve got to choose a name to go by as a domme. I’m wanting some tips for a name. I’ve been brainstorming with friends and I am still not sure because nothing is ‘coming to me’.

I would like some practical advice and any other tips that are helpful.

Answers :

  • A lot depends on what the name is for. If you’re talking about only using it online, or you’re a proDomme try for something that reflects your style of Domming.

If you’re here to meet people in person eventually and make friends, I suggest that if your name is not so unique that it will identify you in a way that’s doesn’t work for you, I like either your real name or a middle name or at least a name that could be a real name.

You can stick Mistress, or Lady or whatever in front of it – but then when you meet people at a munch or someplace you don’t have to go through having them call you Bitch Queen of the World or something like that in person.

Also, whatever you do – look at abbreviations. People WILL abbreviate, so check that the initials don’t spell out something unfortunate, or that the first part of the name, if used as a nick-name, is OK.

  • I agree with the comments above: it depends on how you are using the name. My scene name is different to my online name … and your current online truly would work well for the latter.
  • My assumptions are that

You are possibly considering working as a professional at some time.
You do not wish to use your birth/family name, for whatever reason.
I believe that a Domina’s name should be strong and reflect a characteristic/s of yourself. I have read your profile and seen your pictures. In my opinion, you would do well to choose a name that focusses on your heritage, your intelligence and your abilities, rather than your pretty face and youth. You want this to be a name you can carry through your whole life with pride because this name will become an intrinsic part of you over time.

Firstly you must know it is considered good etiquette not to use a name that another Mistress/Dominatrix is already using (particularly if she is a professional). It used to be that you didn’t use the name if you were in the same city/state, but the prevalence of the internet names that a lot more difficult. So a lot of Dominas have a full name, examples being Natalya Dostova (me), Mz Electra A’more (my friend and colleague), Natalya Sadici (from Chicago, a very accomplished Domina). This way if you choose a name that is already in use (and most of the good strong female names are), you can give yourself your own unique identity with a second name which can also be used to reinforce your dominant

Note: The title Mistress is given to a Domina who has completed a period of training (it used to be an apprenticeship, but now it’s a lot more self-training)_. So if you are still training, it is appropriate to give yourself the title of Miss, until your trainer/mentor says you are ready. This is not to say that everyone follows these guidelines, a quick scan of this site shows that everyone slaps a title on themselves without appearing to give it much thought, but as you are with a well respected Melbourne professional Mistress you may wish to follow the protocols that professional and lifestyle/professionals use.

Enough protocol, back to the naming! Try to avoid the following:

Cutesy endings. Ending a name with a diminutive suffix (like I or IE or EE) can make an otherwise strong name hard to take seriously. But avoid making an otherwise solid name “original” by adding a frilly ending. Sure your strength of personality could carry it, but you want a name that reflects YOU, not cuteness. You’re already a pretty young woman, choose something that shows your dominant qualities, not your cuteness!

Cutesy misspellings. It may seem like an easy way to get a name you like without using someone else’s name but you’ll be stuck with constantly correcting misspellings, painful and it makes it harder for people to remember your email address or get it right. Stick to the usual spellings for ease of use for everyone else!

sexy lips with a ring

“Word” names Most established word names are easy to take seriously, like Joy or Grace or Faith or Rose. Word names like Precious, Heaven or Princess just come across as wanky. Use a real name and leave the HeavenlyPrincessPrecious title to someone who wants to fight to be taken seriously.

Where to find names? I have a few sources that I recommend to new Dominas, here’s a few  to get you started:

Alternative Baby Names

  • To clear up any confusion, yes I am considering being a pro domme and I didn’t want to use my real name. My real name is quite a strong female name but I prefer the relative anonymity of my pro name. I did actually consider using my own name but I just wasn’t sure.

I settled on Phoenix in the end. I hadn’t had a chance to read everyone’s advice before settling on it today (had first training day today), so I haven’t made it a full name. I’m happy just to have a first name for now. Initially, I had wanted a French name due to my love of the language. After discussing it with a friend, I chose Phoenix as it reflected my heritage. The mythology of it rising from the ashes constantly reflects an important period in my life that I am currently going through (as well as the way I live my life).

I don’t know if another Domina has this name. I just knew that I liked this one. In time, if a second name comes to me, I’ll add it on. I made sure that no other Domina in Fetish House had it though!

  • I had to choose my name rather quickly…I was more concerned about getting a foot in the door as an apprentice rather than a name! I know that it’s prudent that if I want to change the name that I do it very soon but for now I don’t have anything I want to change to. I’m waiting and seeing. Since training as a domme is so new to me, I am literally discovering myself and the persona that accompanies being Phoenix. I’m looking forward to the day when the person I am and ‘Phoenix’ meld seamlessly and comfortably.