I’m a musician. I already knew that when I was 11. At that point in life, that made me an outcast. The fun thing for guitar players though is that while throughout adolescence you may be an outcast when you become a teenager, the feelings of your peers toward you make a notable shift. I enjoyed this change in status mostly by having lots of girlfriends and sex.
Things were moving along rather smoothly until after a 2-month dry spell when I was 17 I got cornered like helpless prey by this very new-agey hippy girl slightly older than myself and while mostly not conventionally pretty, had very palpable and notable sexuality. She had sex with my best friend in front of me more than a couple of times before she ever even indicated an interest in me. As the teenage hippy that I was, I acted as though jealousy wasn’t driving me crazy.
She eventually zeroed in on me and essentially took me as her mate. As I got to know her and had more sex with her she let me into her very kinky inner world where, for instance, she would put a really thick dildo all the way inside her, pull up her panties and walk around the room coming in front of me. She identified as a slut. She loved the word. She was also a size queen and at first very subtly let me know that while I wasn’t small, I was by no means big and that she really loved a big cock.
This was some tough medicine to take at that age. But every man has to come to terms with their dick, big, small or generically average and own it. She verbalized during for-play all the time about making me her slave boy and giving me a collar. She eventually started encouraging any bisexual tendencies I had by giving me her toys to play with or using them on me and she had a few.
She would use my mouth like it was a machine for an hour at a time, sometimes more. She would ride my dick and my face in quite painful and uncomfortable ways. Sex would last 2 hours or more sometimes and she will have coerced way more orgasms out of my body than it wanted to give up. I would lay there, feeling totally used and dominated. And at the time, not particularly happy about it. Nonetheless, profoundly affected.
After about a year and a half of this rigorous abuse, she told me that she decided that she wanted an open relationship because why should we be depriving ourselves of the richness of experience this life has to offer. Cue the rainbows. I told her that I was happy with her and she was all I needed and she basically said ‘Well that’s fine, I don’t need you to have sex with other people but I really need to.’ One direct conversation ending quote of hers that I can recite verbatim is “I love you but your dick is certainly not going to be the last one to go in pussy.”
I remember the following days of taking long slow walks alone in the local park, pondering what to do. After 3 or 4 days of this, I resolved to leave her. As she and I were growing apart her friend moved in on me and we had the steamiest most passionate vanilla sex I’d ever had until meeting my current wife 16 years later. When I told my ex what was going on, she went out of her mind with jealousy. With much effort and some scheming, she won me back over and somehow became immediately pregnant with my child.
We married while I was 19 and she was 20. As soon as we were living together, I found myself constantly paranoid that she was going to cheat on me. I would find myself racing home early from school or work in an attempt to catch her redhanded. What puzzled me was how sexually excited I would feel and how big of a let down it seemed to be when I would discover that she was there alone or later on with our son.
Cheating? My wife?
I would have dreams that she was cheating on me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it even as a lay sleeping. I started to communicate to her that it was becoming a fantasy of mine for her to cheat on me. She quickly took this ball and ran with it. The first thing she did was to randomly stay away from the home at unexpected points and come home telling me that she just had sex with somebody to gauge my reactions. This is something most femdom educators recommend a lady does if she plans to cuck her male. Looking back, I feel that she was either well-read on the subject or she was a natural domme to the bone.
It was around this point, while our child was still a baby, that she took a management position and became our primary and at times sole breadwinner. This is where the story begins to get interesting and unfortunately, this is as far as I could take us in this installment. Reliving it through writing it has been eye-opening so I suspect some sustained motivation in finishing it. We’re about halfway home.
When she became the primary breadwinner of our family, I didn’t do a good job of holding down the fort. The place was always a mess and I was completely wrapped up in my own activities any time I wasn’t directly interacting with our son. I also felt really threatened in the traditional masculine sense that I was not the one wearing the pants. As a result, I acted really mean towards her when she was around a lot of the time.
She was the only female at the time where she worked and was enjoying much male attention at work. Before long serious chemistry had developed between her and a co-worker. I was introduced at a party and actually befriended him. It was obvious to me that he was crushing on my wife and it felt flattering. It didn’t seem terribly threatening because he was a 22-year-old virgin who was quite shy.
After a few late nights hanging out at our house with him, my ex-wife seduced him, in our living room right in front of me. She was flirting all night with him. At one point she let him slide a beer bottle into her pussy. (I think we were playing truth or dare.) She eventually eased his pants down a sucked his cock right there in the living room in front of me. It turned out that nerdy MR Shy was packing a lot more heat than me.
We eventually retired to the bedroom and had a threesome. After dealing with nerves, her new, inexperienced bull eventually got a nice erection and fucked her pretty well for what I thought was a first time. I found out later that she had already let him fuck her a couple of times before, behind my back. The first few threesomes were rather equal in her attention to each of us, in fact, the first time, her bull and I came simultaneously.
As things progressed, he moved in with us. During our sex sessions, she became more and more focused on his big cock until it got to a point where I would sit on the bedroom floor, back to the wall, and play with a dildo while he fucked her. By this point, I wanted to have sex with her bull too but he was not into it. Once he made her come and he came, I would be allowed to fuck her while she lay on her side and either smoked a cigarette (which became a long-time fetish of mine) or blew her bull, depending on her mood. I found her casual indifference to the presence of my dick to be oddly arousing and liberating.
When we went out together, I was always made to sit in the back seat. Dining out, if we sat in a booth, she sat next to her bull. She told all of our friends about our arrangement and I suffered a lot of humiliation at social events. Every time anything occurred that would have been a boost to my self-esteem, she would quickly do or say something to knock me back down a couple notches.
One night, I played a rather triumphant show with the band I led. While I was playing, my wife’s eyes were all over me. I felt like she was remembering why she had fallen in love with me. I was on top of my game that night and everything seemed to go perfectly. After playing, I was hanging out in the club, getting showered with compliments and flirtation. I gathered up my gear to run it out to my car and as soon as I opened the back door to the alley, I saw my wife leaned up against the graffiti sprayed brick wall with her black dress hiked up and her bull between her legs licking her to orgasm. That night, I was made to sleep on the couch.
More and more, I was excluded from the bedroom all together. I was filled with so many conflicting feelings; anger, jealousy, helplessness, horniness and total obsession with her. I turned down many advances from women far more attractive than my wife because she was all I could think of. All these feelings ultimately resulted in me being a constant dick who was no help to anybody. After about 2 years of this activity, my wife served me with divorce papers. I moved out and she remained with her bull for another few months before leaving him as well.
When I became more gainfully employed and seemed to be on my way to some degree of success, she rekindled things with me and we moved back in together. Before long though, she was back in touch with her old bull “as a friend”. We moved across the state and surprise, guess who is living in our basement. I immediately feel like she’s taking every opportunity to send me out of the house and it’s hard to imagine that it’s for any other reason than to get a chance to fuck her live-in now-secret bull. This goes on until she leaves me and moves back to our hometown area, leaving her damned bull with me.
I went through a period of avoiding women and hooking up online with men for sex. I was doing this right in front of my ex’s bull which while awkward felt pretty good. I probably sucked 10 cocks in one year and got fucked by at least 5 of them, most of them really big. I eventually came to the conclusion that my lack of arousal should be an indication that my bisexual tendencies are entirely dependent upon the presence of a dominant woman, encouraging my sluttiness.
I got out of the living situation with him as quickly as I could and months later I got a call from my ex, asking me to help him move out of the house I shared with him before. I obliged and during the process, I happened to catch a glimpse of her caressing his cock through his pants on the remaining sofa. “Christ on a crutch, she’s fucking him again.” I thought to myself. Then came the immediate flood of anger, helplessness and extreme sexual arousal.
My obsession with her was back in full force. I started spending all my money taking weekend trips out to her to see my son and I would spoil her with treats and gifts. After a couple of months of doing this, I confessed that I needed her and would do anything to get her back. I told her that I needed to be back inside her and that she was all I could think of. She denied me repeatedly until one night she came out to her living room sofa where I was laying and pouting. She said “Alright, you can come in.” We had amazing sex that went on for hours. She came at least 6 times and I came 3 times. After that, she entirely broke things off with her bull and he took it really hard.
As fate would have it, in less than a month after we reconnected, a beautiful woman where I was still living fell head over heels for me and I for her. She met me when I was out playing a gig the sparks flew. There was nothing I could do about my emotions. I called it off with my ex and she really made me pay emotionally. She made me feel like the lowest of the low. She genuinely believed that I had never intended on re-marrying her and that I just wanted to ruin her chances with the bull. I said “I wish I was that diabolical but unfortunately, you’re the only one here who’s that much of an evil genius.”
Before long I moved in with Bunnycakes, we’ll call her. She was very attractive, very fun on the surface and was very sexy. With her learned that sexy and sexual don’t always go hand in hand. She had downright puritanical reservations about sex and sexuality. We turned out to be so incompatible that in the 5 years we lived together, we had sex on average of twice a year. I was so sexed out from my tumultuous relationship with Hellwitch (we’ll call her) that I honestly didn’t mind that much. I never cheated. I just jacked-off and looked at cuckold porn. A couple of times, I was suspicious that she was cheating on me and when I’d spy to find out for sure, would always find myself disappointed that she wasn’t cheating.
After a 5 year distant relationship and one child with me, she told me that she had fallen in love with a co-worker and was leaving me. However, she didn’t expect me to be able to immediately move out and I had 45 days to find a new living situation. During these 45 days, with the knowledge that her heart now belonged to another, I found myself more attracted to her even than when I initially connected with her. I went out of my way to prove myself a superman. I was cleaning parts of the house I hadn’t even known existed, I was cooking and serving her all her favorite meals, I wrote and recorded a 13 song album entirely for her in 27 days. It was all in vain of course. You can’t tell the heart who to love.
I wound up moving in with a female fellow musician whom I had worked with for years and had always had a thing for. When I told her that I was getting kicked to the curb, she told me that she had just been through a divorce and was looking for a roommate. I was thrilled because she was exactly the kind of cool and sexy that I really go for. She was almost a decade younger than me with was total a different experience for me. When I moved in with her, I discovered that she was already on her second boyfriend since her divorce. She had cheated on her husband with a bandmate. It seemed she had all the earmarks of a skilled cuckoldress. Charm, sexiness, confidence and a knowledge of her feminine sexual power.
I lived as her roommate for a few months feeling very jealous when I’d hear her fucking her boyfriend one room over. Eventually, a couple of friends of hers both developed an interest in me. One of them, who was 45 and divorced at the time came on really strong. One night, while I was planning to maintain celibate for some period, she was lying next to me on my bed, after my roommate had passed out. She told me that her pussy was really wet. What was I supposed to say? We had amazing introductory sex, twice that night and again the following morning.
I didn’t want to be her boyfriend initially because although there was immediate sexual chemistry, she seemed really domineering and it honestly scared me a bit when I’d think back on Hellwitch. After dating her for about 3 months, with lots of great sex, I broke up with her, stating that I was still healing from heartbreak and I wasn’t as emotionally invested in the relationship as her and that seemed unfair to her, by my figuring. She took it hard but accepted it.
As soon as Raggedy Ann (my room-mate) found out that I had broken up with her friend Canary, she immediately professed that she had been in love with me for months. I immediately reciprocated because my sexual/mental attraction to her had always been off the charts. We became boyfriend and girlfriend. Canary was upset but remained friends with us. Raggedy Ann started acting exactly as I expected deep down inside. She would stand me up after work and get drunk with some guy-friend. She would treat me like a servant when her friends were over, visiting. I was absolutely loving the disrespectful treatment and felt like after years, I was home. It sounds so fucking sick to me but its true.
The sex with Raggedy Ann turned out to be a major disappointment as she seemed to be a bit phobic of penises. She offered no attention and would just lie there. It proved to be a major relief when she broke it off. Canary made it clear that she had never fallen out of love with me and still wanted me to be with her. That was 5 years ago. We’ve been married for 3 years. It’s only been for the last 6 months that she has known most of this about me.
We have a strong and stable relationship and its been that way since we reconnected. Since I came clean to her about my submissive cuckold tendencies, she’s spent time learning how to be an effective dominant wife. She is very naturally dominant so it hasn’t been a stretch for her. These days, I serve her and she rewards and disciplines me.
My slave life
She keeps me locked in chastity 24/7 other than when I shower (not in private) or when she chooses to reward me with sex. She teases me about my penis size while I’m locked up or any time it’s unlocked but flaccid. She won’t say it’s small when it’s hard because she feels that it looks big. I’ve found this to be a great compromise because having a woman tell me that my dick is too little immediately gives me an erection, as though my penis wants to prove that bitch wrong. She very much enjoys retaining the right to have sex with anyone she wants, though she hasn’t acted on that yet.
If I disappoint her by way of household or sexual performance, she paddles my ass until its a nice hot pink. She has me do EVERYTHING for her. I make her coffee and breakfast, I maintain our home and laundry, I help her dress and get ready for work every day, she uses me as a footstool about 1 hour per week. She teases me about being locked in chastity and threatens to tell her friends about it.
20 years ago, this would have felt like a hell on earth to me but instead, I find myself happier than I’ve ever been. I also feel more personally connected to my lovely and dominant wife than I’ve ever felt to any woman. She knows me as well, if not better than my ex-wife. She has even more power over me than my ex had. The difference is that she loves me in the genuine sense of wanting me to succeed. Hellwitch genuinely wanted to tear me down to make me too pathetic to ever be able to walk away. She failed because I’m a strong motherfucker. I have a lot of conflicting feelings because, without her, I would have experienced a lot less pain but I wouldn’t know the incomparable joy and thrill of being a man submitting to a woman.