In one sentence: All kind of SM activities above the neck. We all know the “normal” blindfolds, gags, hoods, hairpulling, etc. now add to that facial impact (including open and closed hands), waxing, caning, flogging, piercing, pressure points and more.
BDSM negotiations are nothing new but playing above the collarbone introduces some new question:
- Does your intended recipient have – plastic surgery of any type , implants, contacts (take them out), glasses (take them off), facial jewelry (remove it if you can, be aware of it if you can’t) whapping a piercing may not hurt but the inside of wherever the piercing is may hurt like crazy, skin issues
- Does your bottom have ANY history of abusive behavior in/around the face or even threats of it? Any physical abuse history whatsoever? Any childhood stuff like a southern mama that could slap without breaking stride that might ooze up in a scene? Any phobias like dentists.
So what can I actually do to my sub’s face?
- Cane. Cane? Yes, cane. Use A small, thin, whippy one. Remember our nice soft spot between the cheekbone and jawline? That’s your canning area too. Don’t forget that tongue in cheek if you need it, you can clamp the tongue and pull it out (or if the bottom has good control, just have them stick it out and hold it out) and you can cane the tongue. Horizontally across the tongue seems to be easier aim wise and it’s easier to avoid the teeth. So you’re using small, fast strokes, maybe 3-4 inches off the tongue and down. Bottoms, this will leave you with a nice, warm, thickened feeling tongue. You may have a little gag reflex triggering here and there with keeping the tongue held out, and drying that may occur. Also be aware that spit is a bodily fluid and you can get some “splash” when you first start caning the tongue.
- Mouth Exploration – This is amazingly intimate. Use your fingers, gloved if necessary to explore the mouth. Oral fisting can be fun. Hell no I can’t manage a whole hand, but you’d never know it with this mouth! Just gliding down in there, triggering the reflex, sliding back out, adding more. Or grab a cheek, thumb on the inside, fingers on the outside, and pinch, slowly increasing pressure until it becomes excruciating. Eye contact is a gorgeous thing here. The pinwheel across the tongue and down into the back is a good idea too.
- Slapping – You’re looking for contact with the flat of your fingers. Not a big palm shot. put the palm of your hand on cheek. Feel that pressure on the jaw bone and cheekbone? That’s not happy. Now put the flat of your fingers on that area, see the decrease in pressure, and application of pressure across our nice, soft zone? Yesssss. Ok, so put your hand there, pick it up an inch or so, and lay it back down. Now do that faster, sort of like you’re clapping but using your cheek as the other hand. See how its warming up? Now try adding in one a little hard, maybe 2 inches up and then back down. See how that helps your targeting but ups the sensation? That’s how you learn to slap. You can do this to the bottom while you’re sitting and they are lying with their head in your lap. It will leave the head supported, and you can gently hold the jaw for placement. A mouthpiece will keep them from sliding their jawbones around while they get used to this. As you graduate to become more comfortable with targeting, or more sensation, move slowly. the bottom needs to be able to get used to how they can help by, relaxing their jaw, and holding their head with some control but NOT rigid. They have to sort of roll with a heavier slap, not get a whiplash.
- Piercing. Facial piercing makes beautiful bondage and guess what? you can’t see it when its taken out. Do not attempt facial piercings unless you’re very familiar with temporary piercings already and we’re not learning that today. But a 25 gauge needle in each temple then tied off to the table creates some pretty satisfactory bondage. Those needles are small enough that the leave the tiniest tiniest little pinhole of a mark, if at all. Caveat though? Facial piercings CAN do some quick bleeding that might catch you unprepared and will definitely look worse than it is. Don’t freak, Wipe it off and then see if you can tell where it even came from.
- Stepping/Trampling. This is based on stompie boots, not stilettos You can place the heel of your boot on the forehead and the ball of it on their mouth. Lightly Lightly Lightly. No pressure needed, it’s just a neat “I’m in control and you’re not” oozy moment. You can place the ball of the foot or boot on our lovely soft zone and pressssss. Give us bottoms a moment licking the sole. Give them the freedom to reach up and slightly adjust your foot or boot. A millimeter can make all the difference in fun/erotic vs. “FUCK!”. You can’t feel that millimeter through your boot and all the way up your body, but they can sure feel it on their face. Trust them. Step on their hair for bondage, while you whip something else that’s available.
- Clamping – The lips, the tongue, the septum and edges of the nostrils, along with the jawline, earlobes, along with the eyebrows. Bruising CAN result from these, but not so much that makeup wouldn’t cover it.
- Ash/Cigar Play: Well, there’s just nothing like a mouth as an ashtray. Or for degradation, just flicking ashes across the face. Goggles here, or close your eyes, those fuckers sting. Or just drag it lightly across their face. Singe an eyelash that’s fluttering on their cheek. Etc.
- When all else fails, just spit in their face WOOF! Yum! Oh wait, now I’m hot.