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24 Women sexual histories and experiences

lighting a cigarette with a face mask

Helen’s Experiences

My fifth-grade class was among the first wave in this country to be exposed to sex education. Some education it was! I’d had breasts for years, and I’d suspected that all that stuff between my legs was good for something other than riding a bicycle. My father was a nurse, so while our training on the nuts and bolts of anatomy made sense (“That stuff down there is for making babies after you’re married, and here’s what it looks like.”), my peers had no idea what they possessed “down there”.


My sex-ed teacher asked, “How many openings are ‘down there’? Hold up fingers.” Everyone held up two but me. I felt like a freak, but the teacher said, “She’s right! There are three!.” Every kid in the class looked at me like I was the one idiot who had the weird anatomy. They recoiled from me in the same way you might shrink back from a man you found had an extra nose growing out of his abdomen.

When the teacher explained the fact that there was a “third hole” they’d never found, all the girls looked positively repulsed. I understood from what my parents told me and the films she had shown (“The male frogs squeezes the female frog until her eggs come out and he squirts this stuff on them that makes them into babies.”) that that “stuff” down there had a purpose. Why anyone would use it was beyond me.

I’d been acquainted with the pleasurable aspects of my anatomy, but why it could ever extend to a man eluded me. I knew I had a little button down there that didn’t have anything to do with babies. Why wasn’t anyone talking about that?

One girl in my class asked about masturbation, and the teacher said, “If a girl touches herself ‘down there’ she could become very excited.” And that was IT! I got excited watching the Richard Simmons show. It didn’t mean I wanted to marry the exercise guru! What was she talking about? I got excited about watching the dance number before the Oscars. I didn’t think this had anything to do with my “unmentionable”. The idea that my “fun spot” and babies had any connection was beyond me. I was desperately waiting for SOMEONE to tell me I wasn’t the only one who possessed one of these things.

I’ve talked to many women of my so-called “enlightened generation” only to find that all of us at one point stood over a hand mirror, looked down and screamed, “I’M DEFORMED!!!!!!!” The shock of our own genital appearance was terrifying.

As for me, I lost my virginity to an overly-endowed boy on the seat of a pickup truck. The poor boy didn’t mean to, but he banged my 15-year-old head into the truck door so hard I nearly passed out. I thought that the pain of first coitus would go away, but it didn’t. For years, I wondered why coitus burned like a blowtorch. Doctors told me I was crazy or not using the proper lubricant. I felt like a freak!

I ended up with a debilitating case of vestibulitis. Only surgery and marriage to a very sensitive man could cure this painful condition. It is through his and my concerted efforts that I’m able to fully participate in real sexual life with the give-and-take attendant in that relationship.

It’s been a long road, but I’m a fully sexual being. Just how many young girls are we going to sacrifice in our pursuit of the “perfect woman”? Why don’t we just tell them what they need to know, give them good reasons for waiting (i.e.: “That boy just needs to put his seed in SOMETHING! It’s biological…”), and help them as they grow.

I have an 8-year-old step-daughter. I’m pretty sure she understands how babies are made, but I hope it will be up to me to let her know how women enjoy sexual life. I don’t want one more girl to experience the pain and disgust I went through.

Tiffany’s G-Spot Experience

Last week, my boyfriend tried something new on me. He began touching my pussy, then told me to turn over onto my stomach. I did so and he put two fingers inside my vagina. Normally when he put his fingers inside when I’m laying on my back it feels so wonderful, but he cannot get his fingers at such an angle that I get the perfect friction on my G-Spot. With me on my stomach though, oh my god, I was screaming and gasping for breath. He put his fingers in, and massaged my G-spot, my pussy, and my butt. I had to bite the pillow to keep from screaming loud enough for the neighbors to hear. If your lover and you ever want to try something wonderful, do this! It lacks body-on-body closeness, but it feels oh so good! Also make sure when they are inside you, their palm is facing down towards the bed. Happy loving!

Anonymous – Age 31

When I was ten or eleven (I don’t remember exactly when) I touched myself between my legs and discovered my clitoris, a few months later I had found my g spot. By the time I was thirteen, I was masturbating regularly every night and I had seen my vulva with a hand mirror.

I had power over my genitals, under my command they swelled and throbbed giving me unspeakable pleasure for hours on end. Indeed I could masturbate for hours on end, dreaming of pleasures that I only read about in romance novels and my dad’s porn stash.

I had been reading romance novels since I was 11, not Harlequin but the bodice rippers. And I had been perusing my dad’s porn stash since I was 7, he preferred Hustler, High Society, and OUI with the occasional Penthouse thrown in for variety. By the way, I did this on the sly.

I lost my virginity with very little pain and no soreness since my vagina was nice and flexible and my lover considerate enough to lick my clit first. I read of other women’s experiences with first intercourse and I feel a bit sad for them. Since their pussies had been basically “unused”, they were like cars that had been sitting in a parking garage for years. They described ripping and tearing, a pain that seared their poor cunts and turned them off to sex. But a penis in my vagina felt smooth and silky even the first time.

During those years of fingering myself, I had fantasies. Though I would never tell my friends I was fascinated with a penises and wondered what one would feel like in my mouth. The first time my lover asked me to (I was too shy to ask then), I took his cock in my mouth and gave him head. Within minutes, I discovered that men love a roving tongue and the sure way to make a man moan was to tickle that spot right underneath the head.

I attribute my sexual openness and enjoyment to over 20 years of masturbating.

Anonymous – Age 21

The first time I had an orgasm it was during intercourse at 16, with a patient, experienced man eager to guide me toward a pleasurable view of sex. I had touched myself before this, and experienced pleasure from it, but had a feeling of taboo against further exploration, thinking that sexuality is something that was shared, instead of a personal thing that can be mingled with someone else’s. In fact, despite the intense pleasure gained from experiencing orgasm with intercourse, I didn’t have my first solo orgasm for another year or two, and regular masturbation soon followed, naturally. I just didn’t think that most women masturbated.

Since then I have approached sex with an open mind, realizing that a lot of “common knowledge” is a straight myth. Such as men’s vs. women’s capability of visual stimulation. I have started looking at porn regularly for the last six months, which has resulted in faster stimulation and stronger orgasms, as well as gaining insight into men’s common sex mistakes (lack of clitoral stimulation is evident in a huge amount of porn).

I believe that some encouragement of masturbation in children would result in the further development of their unique physical preferences, and the resulting confidence in self-knowledge will prompt the communication necessary with your partner to ensure everybody’s happiness.

Katrina – Age 39

After reading your article on female ejaculation I just had to write. I have been able to do this for years. When it first started happening or when I first recognized it I was about 26, I am 39 now. I could never allow it to happen with my husband at the time so I always looked forward to my showers, where I would always pleasure myself. At first I thought it was pee, for a couple of years, I was sure that it was. Now that I am more experienced and knowledgeable about my sexuality, I know that I ejaculate and I cum a lot! My fiancé and I are rather experimental and he always makes sure that I gush. When you are talking about up to 2 cups of fluid, I would have to say that I am sure there have been times when I have expelled more fluid then that. I am multi-orgasmic and can have orgasms that actually last for 30 minutes. We also thought that it would be interesting to catch this phenomena on video so there is my pussy, on tape, gushing and getting really wet. I must admit that this happens with more intensity while my G-spot is being stimulated as well, which is each and every time. I read a lot of the letters about masturbation and thought that it is very sad that some women have been subjected to spankings and verbal abuse by their parents when they were young. Give yourself a break girls, let it go. Your parents were being dumb and just did not know better. Take control of your sexual life and YOUR body. The only way you will ever orgasm or be able to tell someone else how to pleasure you is to know your own body!

Tara-Jade – Age 16

I read your section on female ejaculation and, thank you! I am 16 years old and have the gift of having my vagina turn into a metaphorical fountain at times.

My first experience of ejaculating was when I was about 15. I was masturbating when I felt a warm, pleasant ‘gush’ and I automatically thought that I had urinated, the main problem being all over my blanket! I was at the time, too embarrassed to ask my mother just what the HELL had happened to incase I had urinated. The second incidence was when after my boyfriend and I had had sex. I wasn’t quite satisfied afterward and so fiddled around a bit (we are very close and have been together for a number of years, but was too embarrassed to tell him either) and felt my mouth drop as I had that warm, pleasant gush again, this time all over HIS bed!

I found the answer to my mystery fountain vagina in a tacky old set of bad wimmins magz that my grandmother owned. “FEMALE EJACULATION” in bright glossy writing was the answer to my unanswered in common speech. But I still did not know everything about it, all I had was a warm gush and a name. It has been hard to find any information, without having to enter a pornography site.

My boyfriend prefers to give me oral sex after I have ejaculated as it is tasteless and he finds it arousing, I guess I nabbed a winner. I myself can ejaculate in quick succession, it becomes harder to achieve after the 5th time. If I do push down with it, as you suggest, the sheer force can be explosive. I have conversed with older postmenopausal wimmin who can ejaculate over a 3-metre distance.

Sadly for me, I have not experienced orgasm yet (even by myself) and so cannot comment on ejaculation and orgasm.

Ejaculation is just something that my body does, wonderfully enough. It takes clitoral stimulation, sometimes not much if I’m already incredibly aroused. Once, I ejaculated without clitoral stimulation. Just the feeling of having hard fingers inside my vagina after months of an absence of anything sexual, was enough to make me burst.

So thank you for all the useful information on an area that little research has been done in. I was always mind-boggled by whether I was squirting urine or ‘something’ else. It is nice to know that I have a clearer view of the whole experience now. I thought I’d write you this letter in gratitude and give you some background info on my experiences in case you needed some, especially from someone from a teenage age group, as I doubt that female ejaculation is a hot topic around the shopping mall for young girls. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and thanks again!

Crystal

I’ve previously written in some of my masturbation techniques, and have now tried sex with a guy for the first time. It felt pretty much like I thought it would. I did it mainly to get it over with, and to find out what the big deal was about men! So many girls seem to think their gods gift to women or something, lol. Not being able to understand this concept, I tried sex myself and I have to say….it was exactly what I expected. I didn’t achieve orgasm, it just didn’t turn me on to have a penis inserted in me. Maybe I’m gay I dunno, but that was my first time and maybe next time I try it, it’ll be better. We actually fucked for a good 20 or 30 minutes straight. He was determined to give me an orgasm, and postponing his! Eventually, I got tired of it and told him to go ahead and get his. I got bored, lol. Maybe it would have been different if I would have had feelings for him, and therefore sexually attracted, but seriously I have to say, I’ve only felt that way about one person, which is a woman. Just thinking about her quickly turns me on, and I get wet fast. I’ve never had strong feelings for a man, does that mean I should just go for women? I’m scared if I feel strongly for a man, it’ll change my feelings for women, and I don’t want that to happen. Anyway, I just had to write about this. Later:)

There are several things young women can learn from this experience, and the similar one shared below. Do not go through the motions of heterosexual sex, i.e. intercourse, just because you feel you should or are pressured to by a partner or peers. Sex will often live up to your expectations; be sure your expectations are realistic and positive before you give it a try. Acknowledge and accept your sexual desires and orientation. If you are not sexually attracted to men, do not have sex with them. Not finding men sexually desirable does not automatically mean you are a lesbian, but it does mean you are not ready for sex with men at that point in your life. Vaginal intercourse will not be enjoyable unless you are properly prepared for it mentally and physically. Experiences like these are the reason for the advice I provide on the pages about virginity. It is interesting to note that I received both of these experiences on the same day.

Anonymous

I lost my virginity about 2 months ago and here’s the story. I was with a guy I’ve known for a while, and we decided to go to his house to watch a movie. Well we were laying on his bed talking about random stuff, and I told him that I like girls, to see his reaction. After that I asked him if he would have sex with me. I’m a very pretty girl, and every guy I meet wants to sleep with me, so it was no surprise that he said yes very quickly. I pulled off my shirt and laid back. He then got over me and undid my bra, and pulled off my jeans. I was now in my panties. He then pulled off his shirt off and his boxers, I slid my panties off and he touched me down there startling me, I asked “what are you doing?”, he then said “checking to see if you’re wet”. I said I was, and he crawled on top of me. When he first inserted his penis a little bit it felt fine, didn’t hurt, then he told me was gonna stick it in all the way, and he pushed in all the way and I gasped in pain. I was freakin but thought to myself “you have to go through with this”, so he pounded and thrust for about 10 minutes before he asked me to get on top, so I did, but I couldn’t do it really well, and he thrust up into me for a little while. Then he finished and we got dressed and I went home, by now it was like 3:00 in the morning. So, that’s it! Thought I’d share….thanks for letting me:)

Janet

I really love your website – I grew up in a very conservative and Catholic home and it is only now in my thirties that I am beginning to enjoy my sexuality and sex with my partner. He is very open and we discuss things a lot. For so long I felt very depressed and couldn’t orgasm with men I had sex with and then I had an experience while I was working in Africa which changed my sex life forever. I have always been heterosexual and never thought of myself in any other way. I was a good friend with a Scottish girl who was living there. One evening I was around at her house and we had a few drinks and she kissed me. It happened so suddenly, I caught me unawares and despite all my Catholic upbringing I was excited, I kissed her and my mind couldn’t believe what I was doing. But is felt strange and good, like the sort of thing girls in boarding schools get up to sometimes but we were in our twenties at this stage. Hands searching for each other, t-shirts ripped off and breasts kissed in a slow gentle way that made me want to cry. She reached down between my legs and I felt myself shudder, her hand was warm. How was this happening and why. I was hot and wet and suddenly for the first time ever in my life I was coming. It was like waves, hot and blissful. After several quick encounters with me it was her, one of my best friends who showed me all the fuss was about. Then she took her hand away and went down on me, I could feel her tongue inside searching for my clitoris and she found it and I could feel it growing larger and greedier for more stimulation. I still get excited when I think about that day – it was like losing virginity really as all previous experience until then had been groping around in the dark. I was so overcome with the joy of it all that I was screaming and I didn’t care that the front door was open. We lay for a long time completely naked under the cooling air of the overhead fan – our bodies glistening with sweat and arousal. We are both still really good friends and both in relationships with lovely men. We don’t talk about what happened that day but I don’t think it was strange or weird, just a long over due sexual awakening and the fact that it was a girl doesn’t bug me, she just knew all the right places to look. I enjoy sex lots with my boyfriend but if I masturbate I tend to fantasize about reliving that day again – that precise moment when I felt like the whole world was imploding inside me and the clitoris was everything and everywhere.

Anonymous – Age 19

I have always been uneasy with my sexuality, which might just be the result of my mother never really going into detail on the variety of changes during puberty, natural urges, and so on. I read on your site about the variety of women’s clitoral and labia size–how size and color vary and is perfectly natural. That set years of self-consciousness about my body at ease. I wasn’t weird or deformed, just different like every other young woman.

During childhood, I happened upon self-exploration at about six years of age. Maybe once or twice every several years I seemed to rediscover clitoral stimulation. Then at age 15 I masturbated for the first time, and later on knew how to gratify myself without vaginal penetration. It wasn’t long after that I accidentally tore, during clitoral stimulation/vaginal penetration, what I later came to know as my hymen. I knew it was close to my monthly cycle, but the excessive bleeding that night after coming to orgasm scared me. I had run to my mother and had told her that I was experimenting, which resulted in bleeding. I don’t think she knew how to react to this, her being brought up in a strictly religious fashion. So she just answered my near frantic worries about virginity with occasional shrugs, and a stern send-off.

Denial followed the following week as my cycle came without much consequence, and I buried my self-doubt and guilt deep inside, but that would resurface later on as I soon overcame my fear of that night and continued regular self-gratification in the following few years. My mother and I never spoke, referred to, or brought up that night, so it just seems like a far off dream–obscure and nearly faded.

Now that I read your article on “Who is a virgin?” I have finally reached a sort of inner peace. Other young women *do* masturbate in the same fashion, as much, or as little as I have. I have long subscribed to the religious belief that once sexual awareness has been reached, and the mechanics were achieved through self-stimulation (pain of the first time, bleeding, etc), that I was no longer a virgin. But no longer being a virgin also meant being with a man, right? So was I still a virgin even though I had bled that night?

In “Who is a virgin?” the explanation that, “Virginity is a spiritual attribute, not a physical one,” really set my mind and heart at ease. I’m only 19 and just starting out in life, with college, and work. Now I feel as if I have less personal baggage to carry along with me, and can be more free with my sexuality instead of bottling my thoughts and feelings inside, in order to adhere to some archaic belief that seems to still prevail: that women are not sexual creatures, and should be discounted as weird or mentally sick if they are open with their sexuality.

Anonymous – Age 43

I have considered sending this message several times, but have been concerned over privacy issues. For whatever reason, I have decided that this “thank you” is worth any risk…Obviously I prefer that this correspondence be confidential. However, I would not object to sharing information anonymously that could be of benefit to other women…

I am a 43-year-old female, married 22 years to a wonderful man. However, due to personal insecurities with regard to my sexual anatomy, I have always been an extremely backward and shy person sexually, not ever being able to fully open up to my spouse or other lovers because of embarrassment. Ever since I was old enough to compare and realize differences between other girls/women, I have been mortified, realizing that for some unknown reason, I had been born with a larger than average clitoris. Due to extreme embarrassment, I never asked questions, and my mother never offered explanations or comfort. (I would assume that she was never educated about this). In my mid 20’s during an exam with a new female gynecologist, I was made a spectacle of. The doctor, upon seeing my clitoris, vulva literally went running from the room, gathering all the other nurses and even the receptionist to “come and see this!” I live in a very small community and know most all the women who worked in that office, who now are aware of my previously well kept “secret”. Talk about embarrassing! The doctor asked me dozens of questions, and continued telling me she had never seen or heard of “such a thing”. (I knew before my appointment that this doctor was from, and had received her education and license in South America.) Anyway, by the time I was able to gather my belongings and my composure and leave the office, I was feeling as if I should be running off to join a circus! Unfortunately, this doctor’s actions have created a much larger problem for me. As a result of her actions, I have never gone back to her or any other doctor for the necessary pelvic exams and tests that I should be getting for my usual health care. Hopefully, with the help and understanding obtained via your website, I can gain the confidence necessary to take a chance on a new doctor/gynecologist without fear of being exploited. After this “doctor’s appointment from hell, I continued my life, now more self-conscious than ever before (nearly 20 years now). I so very much wanted answers to my questions; actually, now, I HAD to know – how much of a freak am I, why am this way, what causes such a freak of nature, etc., but I had no idea who to turn to in order to find my answers. Who could I confide in? At the risk of being embarrassed again, I decided I would have to find these answers myself. However, all I was able to find was confusing medical terms, clinical studies, stories of horribly disfigured people, some of whom were nothing more than Guinea pigs for medical studies and experiments. I was not willing to take a chance on becoming involved like this for my answers – but I just didn’t know where I fit into all of this. Was I the freak I felt I was? Were there “others” out in the world like me? How ashamed must my parents be…

Shortly after the first of this year (February 2002), I somehow stumbled across your website. This has proven to be one of the very best days of my life. After reading the information in your site, looking at pictures and illustrations of female anatomy, etc. I have found that I am not a freak! As near as I can tell, although not extremely common, my clitoris is larger than some (and smaller than others). I have never seen another women with similar anatomy, but I have always dreamed of meeting another woman, hoping somehow to be able to find answers to my lifelong questions.

Thanks to your website, I can honestly say my life has changed SO MUCH for the better. I am no longer as sexually withdrawn and self-conscious. I still have a long way to go, but at least now, I don’t feel as if I belong in a circus tent! Thank you, and also those who support your site, for having the courage and concern for others to research and report information such as this. Please don’t lose site of people such as myself that are living their lives, secretly feeling ashamed and too afraid to let themselves be the sexual beings they are capable of.

However, now I have an additional request that I hope you can also help me with. I would love to find additional information, photos, etc. or chat with other women, or read of their stories. Can you recommend or refer me to other sites that would provide such information? Are there books available? I would love to know statistically, for instance, how common it is for females to have large clitoris’ and to know how these women are accepted and viewed by their male or female sexual partners. Have other women shared stories similar to mine? I cannot begin to express my gratitude to you for providing the information that has changed my life. My only regret is that I did not come across this information earlier – it could have prevented so much unnecessary anxiety and embarrassment. Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who is loving, patient and understanding and has never seemed to be at all concerned over these “things” that have plagued my mind for most all my life. Please, please, can you provide links to similar sites with information? But most of all, again, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Hayley – Age 17

From the age of 8 or 9 I have masturbated regularly, and can remember as far back as when I was 3 or 4 ‘playing’ with myself, but of course at the time I had no idea what sex was or anything about the subject for that matter. I was first told at the age of 8 by my mother the physical side of sex and how babies were made, I was fascinated and told all my friends at school!

For many years I masturbated using the technique of rubbing my pussy against a pillow or cuddly toy, my clitoris is way to sensitive to stimulate directly so this is one of the only ways I can ‘get myself off’. I can have a guaranteed orgasm every time I masturbate, and keep doing it again and again. The most orgasms I have had in one sitting is about 25. I always find the first one most powerful and if I insert a vibrator I can feel myself pulsating around it.

Just recently I used another technique which may other women have written about and that is using the water stream from a showerhead.

I first experienced sexual intercourse when I was 16, I had felt ready for sex since I was 15 but as the law is in the UK I waited till 16. Once I turned sixteen I actively searched for a boyfriend, for the sole reason that I wanted sex. I met a guy over the Internet, he lived a long way away but we still met. On the 2nd time I met up with him, (we didn’t have sex even though we had planed to) we just engaged in loads of foreplay and oral sex, which I did enjoyed. So finally on the 3rd time we met I had sex with him. After meeting him the previous times I had no physical attraction to him, which has left me feeling very guilty about having sex with him. I treated sex cheaply and I will always regret it. On the 3rd occasion he came to pick me up and took me back to a hotel near his house there I lost my virginity to him, it was painless and a complete disappointment. I only did it out of duty because he had traveled so far to collect me, and I had promised him sex. It left me feeling empty and unhappy. We did meet one last time and had sex but no matter how hard I tried I could not find the physical attraction I needed to be able to stay with him, so I broke it off.

Two months later I met my present Boyfriend, he is amazing and a great lover. I love and enjoy having sex with him; it’s a pleasure to share my body with him because I love him. The worst thing was having to tell him that I had been with someone else before, but he made me feel good by saying that he felt privileged that he was the second and that after a bad experience I trusted and loved him enough to be open about my past.

I can’t go back on my past, but I want to say to other young women out there: don’t ever feel you have to have sex with someone out of duty and don’t do it just because you want to know what its like…sex is amazingly better when you are with someone you love.

Hayley’s experience demonstrates the importance of sexual desire in a relationship. In the absence of desire, pleasure is much harder to achieve.

Anonymous – 70s

Now in my seventies, I have masturbated ever since I can remember. I lost my virginity at 17, a very distasteful experience. The boy barely got his penis into me when he ‘shot his load’. He drove me home and I masturbated to orgasm in my own bed. I married at 19 to a man three years older and he had no problem with the fact that I masturbated regularly. Before we were married we had confessed to one another that we masturbated. If anything, he encouraged me to continue the practice and we often masturbated together. For my 21st birthday he presented me with my first vibrator. It was a very noisy thing but I could really orgasm quickly with it. He would kneel beside me and masturbate watching me. Then we would have sex. (I still find it difficult to use the “F” word).

Over the years, each of my birthdays brought another ‘toy’ for me and I now have a very extensive collection which I use. He is gone now but I still enjoy myself on a regular basis.

Holly

I’ve been masturbating since childhood. I can’t remember how or when I started, but I remember it always being very good. I used to just touch myself with my fingers, squeezing my nipples and breasts, rubbing my clitoris, and sliding a finger inside my vagina. I would start slowly, then rub harder and push deeper, until I reached a climax. I would do it at night, or in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet (sometimes even whilst urinating). I never really thought or fantasized about anything in the early days, but I do now.

Later, I discovered the ecstasy of rubbing and penetration with things other than my fingers. I began using pens and the rounded handle of a toothbrush, then graduated to bigger things like candles and bottles. I like to push one of these things deep inside my vagina, and rest my electric razor against it, as it causes the object to vibrate inside me, driving me wild with excitement. Recently, I started using carrots, sausages and other food to get the pleasure. The feeling is amazing, especially with the large, rounded end or a good firm carrot. Talk about flying to the moon. Sometimes I find myself wondering around the grocery store thinking how each item would feel inside me, tightening and loosening my vaginal muscles as I walk to get me in the mood for that sort of thought – by the time I’m home, I’m so horny I have to run to my room to ease the strain.

I fantasize a lot now too, mostly about having sex with other women – which is strange, because I’ve never thought of myself as a lesbian. My favorite fantasy is that my female doctor is examining my breasts, and suggests a full examination. I lie on my bed, smacking and rubbing my clitoris as I picture her sliding my small panties over my thighs, parting my legs and “examining” my clitoris expertly with her ungloved fingers, rolling her fingers from side to side, and squeezing my hard pea between them. I slide my finger into and out of my vagina as she progresses to a “digital internal exam” in my fantasy, her long fingers probing my ripe vagina in search of my g-spot until I am gasping, and groaning with delight. I usually cum hard and fast as I think of her mouth closing over me, her tongue caressing my hard, wet, aching knob, licking me exquisitely until I shudder with the most fantastic orgasm.

Something wonderful happened last week though, something to top all that fantasizing. I was alone in the house, laying on the floor in my bedroom, in front of the big mirror. I was so hot and wet, enjoying unrestrained stimulation, when the door suddenly opened – my room-mate had come home without my hearing. I had always imagined I would be mortified if caught, but I was halfway to heaven and too far gone to stop, so she just stood there watching as I groaned and rubbed and rocked my way through several thrilling orgasms (almost certainly intensified by the presence of an audience). I thought she’d be horrified and never speak to me again, but instead, she came and lay beside me on the floor, and began to kiss my breasts. I was shocked at first, but she was gentle and warm and it felt comfortable and right. Before I knew what was happening, her hand was between my legs, probing and caressing me.

We spent almost two hours exploring each other, kissing, fondling, fingering, stroking, rubbing. It was heaven. She even penetrated me using a polish sausage. I lay on my back, with my legs spread wide and my feet flat against the floor, and she watched me intently as she slide it in and out, and teased my clitoris with the tip until I was almost screaming with the beautiful agony of it, begging her to make me cum. As I did, she lowered her head, and kissed and licked my firm little knob and oozing vagina as I throbbed with the most wonderful resulting orgasm.

I’m thoroughly enjoying the experience of masturbating with another woman. It’s exciting and alluring and sooo erotic. We frequently do it two or three times a day, on the floor, in bed, in the shower, in the hot tub, on the couch. We can’t seem to get enough of each other. Sometimes even when we are just talking about anything, she will sit close, and her hand will wander slowly from my knee down the inside of my leg, and I’ll find myself melting onto the floor to feel her on and inside me. It’s great that she likes to dominate, the feel of another’s fingers on my clitoris and inside my vagina is orgasmic. She often just uses a single finger to trace letters and words on my clit, whilst sucking my breasts, until I cum. I’ve tried that on my own too, especially using erotic words or the names of people I’d like to be with, and that is a fabulous stimulant.

I’d highly recommend mutual masturbation, whether you are straight of gay, or whatever. It’s wonderful and exhilarating to be able to share it, and twice the fun. It’s making me throb just thinking about it. Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom!

Roz

Having masturbated all my life I have always been very sexual and very open about sex in general. As a child and teenager, I was very curious about sex. My parents had taught me about ‘making babies’ when I was very young, and about sex being pleasurable but obviously I still had questions. When I was 12 I began masturbating using my vagina instead of just rubbing my clit. I was fixated with the claim that when you lost your virginity your hymen broke, you bled and it hurt. I was determined that my first time would not be like that, so I ‘tested’ myself with a variety of objects. There was absolutely no pain or bleeding – I found it all very easy and of course great fun! However, I was worried. I knew what a penis looked like, but not when it was erect. I thought ‘Blimey – erect dicks must be HUGE if they cause you to break and bleed’ I wanted to speak to my parents about my worries but I knew it would involve admitting that I masturbate which I was too embarrassed to do (They know I do now, as I’m no longer ashamed, and it doesn’t bother them in the slightest).

At about 16, I persuaded a friend to show me his erect penis, just so I could figure out whether or not losing my virginity would hurt. He kindly obliged and on seeing it I said – ‘Hey, that’s the same size as the plastic bottle I use when I wank’ I was thrilled!

I got my first boyfriend at 18 and after two weeks we had sex (we were both virgins). I assure you I didn’t lose my virginity at 18 out of choice – it was just circumstances. I spent most of my teens feeling sexually frustrated, but was far to nervous to ask anyone out. I new that first time sex was unlikely to be wonderful as I was right, but it was still nice to be doing it at last. However, sex with that particular young man continued to be less than I’d hoped, and I blamed myself. I couldn’t orgasm and was convinced I was defective in some way, and got so upset that I spoke to my parents (this was when I admitted to masturbating). I couldn’t understand why sex was such a let down when masturbation was so great. They said practice makes perfect, which is certainly true, but I quickly learnt that my boyfriend was not the most considerate of lovers. His idea of foreplay was to grope me for a bit, then sex was when he lay on me and jiggled about for 10 minutes until he came. He loved me to give him oral sex, but was disgusted at the thought of returning the favor, so I lost out in that department too. Towards the end of the relationship (it only lasted 4 & 1/2 months – luckily!) he couldn’t be bothered having sex most of the time and I just became a ‘giving head machine’. I decided that I would probably never enjoy sex very much but I still had masturbation.

Sine then I’ve had a one night stand – no orgasms but great fun anyway; and a brief fling with a friend I visited for a few days. He was quite adventurous if not a little clumsy (he was a virgin) and he will probably be a damn good lover for somebody one day. I still couldn’t come, and also quite quickly realized I didn’t fancy him but it was an experience I’m glad I had.

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for over a year now and sex with him is fantastic. To begin with, I was still convinced I couldn’t come, but it wasn’t long before this was disproved. Also, one of the first things my boyfriend did was to give me head – something that I thought men hated. He said he loved it!

Now we have sex in a variety of different positions, all with different benefits. I love to go on top as I can rub my clit on him at the same time and usually I come quite quickly. He also comes easily in this position too. Recently I’ve started coming when he lies on top of me as again, my clit gets the correct stimulation. My other favorite position is when he’s standing and I’m lying on the bed with my legs up on his shoulders. I can’t come with my clit in this position, but I have discovered that I have a brilliant G-Spot! This position gives me great G-Spot stimulation and multiple orgasms so intense that I often scream. From behind and fingering produce the same effects. My boyfriend is a wonderful and considerate lover and now I love giving head because he doesn’t demand it like my first boyfriend did, and he’ll always return the favor. We even have sex during my period, providing it’s light – when it’s heavy not only does it make a lot of mess but the amount of liquid makes it too slippery and we both lose sensation. During that time we touch each other and have oral sex (I wear a tampon). All in all I have a great sex life, though I still continue to masturbate frequently.

Sandra

Being 68 yrs old I find I am becoming more sexually active and use a vibrator at least once a week. I use the Dr Ruth vibrator. I also am searching to see if there are other women my age who are experiencing the same feelings. I am becoming more open in telling my husband what I like and for him to research my body more. It is interesting how men of our generation do not have the vaguest idea of where the clitoris is and the G-Spot. He is becoming more attentive to my desires and not just a wham bam thank you maam time. With all that I am having more orgasms than before and am enjoying sex a lot more but then again I always did enjoy sex.

 

Anonymous – Age 27

I recently stumbled across your site, and needless to say I love it! It is very informative and reassuring. There should be more resources like it for women who are afraid of or unfamiliar with their sexuality.

I am a 27-year old woman, and I was raised in a very religious community in the United States. From an early age, I was taught that self-exploration and feelings of desire were inappropriate and sinful. Abiding by these principles was a constant struggle for me, because I am a very emotional and passionate person. Masturbating seemed so natural, but I was disciplined and punished for doing it! Eventually, I liberated myself and began expressing my passions and exploring my sexual identity… But I was a virgin until I was 22! … There have definitely been times when my upbringing affected my ability to enjoy sex… Even now, I occasionally have difficulty reaching orgasm because I’m so inhibited–it’s so hard to let go and simply enjoy the moment… But with the help of a couple of caring partners, I’ve slowly overcome that problem!!!

I’m just writing to share a fabulous experience… I recently had a one-month fling with a fantastic Aussie. The first time we had sex was so incredible that I nearly passed out twice! To begin, we had at least 90 minutes of foreplay… He was in charge, and he spent the entire time pleasuring me–he kissed me, caressed me, massaged me, nibbled on me, performed oral sex on me, etc… But he refused to even allow me to unbutton his pants!! After I had countless orgasms, he actually made me get dressed so he could take me out to dinner!! … After dinner, we resumed where we left off… After more foreplay, we had incredible sex for at least an hour… When we were done, he kissed and cuddled with me the rest of the night! He was completely unforgettable…

I just wanted to give an example of how great and passionate sex can be with a worthwhile partner! It wouldn’t have been as great if he hadn’t made me feel so confident in my own skin (for example, he said he loved the way I tasted, which is something that a lot of us worry about excessively!).

Kristi – Age 31

I am very happy to share my sexual experiences. And at the same time, very sad to hear that many women are not enjoying their sex lives. Ladies, we must take charge of our sexuality! Enjoy sex! Make love! It is great fun! What a pleasure to share this joy with your husband or the one you love.

I want to assure you that everything I share with you is a complete truth. I absolutely love sex and it is my wish that ALL women learn to enjoy sex too! It angers me, deep into my soul, when I hear that women fake orgasms. Why in the world would you do such a thing?! Get the pleasure you deserve! Why let the man come when you don’t? I truly cannot understand this way of thinking. Sex is to enjoy. Personally, I don’t think I would continue to have sex if I was not reaching orgasm. In the beginning of my relationship with my husband (before we were married) I recall having sex a couple of times and not reaching orgasm. This angered me and I shared it with him. I was jealous. Why should he get all the fun? We MUST communicate with our partners.

I want to share with you how I came to learn about sexuality and orgasm. I was in second grade (probably 7 or 8 years old) and I began to learn about sex from one of my babysitters, as well as my two sisters. Some of you may think of this as incest, or that perhaps my babysitter was molesting me. I assure you, this is not the case. I feel so strongly that we need to be more open about our sexuality, and that simply by doing so we can take aware some of the fear and shame that seems to go along with it. As I grew to be a teenager and learned about sexual abuse, there were times that I questioned what I had experienced as a young girl. As I continued to grow as a young woman, it became more clear to me that the experience was for learning, and I learned to enjoy sex, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. My babysitter was a female, as am I, and my two sisters. Our babysitter was only a few years older than us and I am sure she had been learning about sex in school and was curious. We used to play games and explore each others bodies. The pleasure was shared by each of us. We were practicing and learning about our own bodies and our own sexuality.

You may be surprised to know that I grew up in a Catholic home. Granted, my mother was not a strict Catholic, as she would share with us how she disagreed with the church, but we went to church every Sunday while I was growing up and I went to Catholic school up until college. There were times when I wondered if what I was doing was a sin, but convinced myself that it simply could not be, as I am a human being, and I do believe I was created by God, and I also believe that we were created to ENJOY LIFE! Not to shy away from that which feels good. I firmly believe that when we reach orgasm we become closer to God. I believe that sex is a spiritual act. When we have sex with our partner, we are sharing the deepest, most intimate part of ourselves with each other. Having an orgasm is like experiencing a piece of heaven on earth!

Have you ever wondered why you have a clitoris? It serves only one purpose, PLEASURE!! USE IT!! Play with it. Let your lover play with it. Let your lover see you play with it!

I feel that perhaps I have been blessed to have had such a wonderful experience with sex in my life. I am 31 years old, and fortunately I cannot recall ever having a bad sexual experience. I started masturbating regularly at the age of 8 and started having sexual intercourse regularly at the age of 16. Perhaps you are wondering if I am a lesbian or have such thought since my sexual experiences began with other girls. I will tell you that I love men. I love having sex with men. There is nothing better than having a large, erect penis inside of me. However, I do find women extremely attractive. I enjoy seeing women pleasure each other. The female body turns me on, probably more than the male. However, I still prefer sex with a male. I love my husband, and I love having sex with him. We have a great relationship. And honestly, we have a simultaneous orgasm almost every time. YES, ALMOST EVERY TIME! This simply comes from good communication and a little bit of practice. Early on in our relationship he would come right away – not surprising for a man. I simply talked to him about this and asked that he wait until I come. It took a little practice, but ladies, if your man will tell you that he is going to come and you are not ready he can stop and wait – it is possible. And ladies, in order to learn how to come, you MUST masturbate. You must learn for yourself what you need to do to reach orgasm.

There is one more thing I would like to share. I have given birth to two wonderful children. Both were born vaginally and breast fed. Ladies, if you have not had a child yet, just you wait! After giving birth and breast feeding I noticed that my sexual organs seemed to become even more sensitive! It is as if having a child “woke up” my G-spot (which, by the way, I think stands for “good spot”) and my nipples became much more sensitive as well. It did seem a little strange to me though, that when I would breast feed I would become sexually aroused sometimes. It is as though my nipples are somehow connected to my clitoris! I want to assure you, that even though I would have sexual feelings while breast feeding I would never think of having sex with my child. It was a bit confusing to me. However, I let my husband know that my nipples were more sensitive and let him pleasure me. Ladies, if your nipples are sensitive, have your partner suck on them during sex. This can really help enhance your clitoral sensations and reach orgasm. As I mentioned before, my G-spot also became much more sensitive and now really feel the need to have something inside me pressing on it in order to reach orgasm. And what a great orgasm it is!

All this talk is making me horny. I think I will go masturbate!

I hope that all of you women out there are enjoying sex. My theme really is that you must take charge of your own sexuality! Enjoy your body, enjoy your clitoris, enjoy orgasm! That is what it is here for.

BEST WISHES FOR GREAT SEX TO ALL!!

Chrissy Z

I am writing this in response to the gentleman who wrote in a question about his girlfriend’s five-year-old daughter. I do not know how long ago he posted his concerns but I am hoping to give him some insight, as an adult woman who was raised similarly to the way that little girl is being raised.

I grew up with both parents and a brother and sister (twins 3 years younger than me). My parents were originally from Australia and I don’t know if that had anything to do with how we were raised, but my mother has told me that public nudity is not offensive “down under”. We were raised as home nudists. When we were home as a family, we were often naked, it was never a big deal. We did not close bedroom doors or bathroom doors, unless company was over. I owned swimsuits but rarely wore them, and I only wore pajamas to bed when we had a sleep over guest. I don’t ever recall specifically being told, but I always understood that we were not like most other families. There were a few occasions when both my mother and father used themselves as models to give us anatomy lessons, and showed us where everything was on our bodies, as well as each others. I recall being handed a mirror to look at my own vulva and was taught the proper names of every thing I had. I remember being about thirteen and using the word clitoris to a friend, and she had no idea what I was talking about, so when I tried to explain, she didn’t know what labia or vulva meant, but she know the word pussy and just called everything by that offensive word (sad).

I was also taught about sex. As a young child I was told that making love was a very wonderful and beautiful act between two loving adults. I was taught that it was very special, and natural, but it was a very personal and private thing and although as I said we rarely closed doors, if I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and overheard my parents making love I would quickly sneak past their room to the bathroom. But I wont lie and say I never peeked as a child, but if I was caught I was never really scolded, just told to go back to bed.

The one thing in he talked about that I was a bit concerned about is the fact that this little girl grabs at his crotch. Its just my opinion that this child is not being taught that even in an open family there are still personal boundaries. She should be taught about body ownership. I believe I was about seven or eight and I remember sitting on the couch snuggling with my parents and I tried touching my father’s penis. I wasn’t thinking any sexual thoughts, I just wondered what it felt like. I was told that it is impolite and inappropriate to touch another’s body without permission. I was taught about good touch/bad touch and that it was unacceptable for anyone to touch my body without my consent. I know my brother, sister and I used to fondle and caress each other, which on a few occasions led to mutual masturbation, but we outgrew this by the time we were in our early teens.

The one thing you must keep in mind is that this little girl isn’t having sexual thoughts or feelings. She is just doing things that she has discovered “feel good”. To her it has no more sexual meaning than you taking a nice hot shower after a long day at work. Its soothing, relaxing and feels nice.

I just want to say that as adults, my siblings and I are very healthy and well adjusted. I did not lose my virginity until I was married, my sister is still a virgin and I never asked my brother, but I’m sure if I did he wouldn’t hesitate to tell me. My brother has told me that he has no interest in the strip clubs a lot of his friends go to, he says big deal. breasts, LOL. As an adult, I don’t equate nudity with sexual feelings, to me sex is about intimacy not nudity.

Anonymous – Age 17

I am a 17 year old girl who has just discovered masturbation about a year ago. I was surfing this site, aware of the concept of touching oneself, but mostly ignorant to the technique or ability to orgasm. I never even really had understood what an orgasm was. I had touched myself before, but never in an attempt to make myself come or to do anything besides exploring the feelings.

I remember once being in a hotel room and watching a late-night show about a sexual encounter and becoming very aroused and getting throbbing sensations in my vagina and clitoris. I didn’t know, at that time, what was happening, but I realized the sensations felt good. I may have even had an orgasm, because I remember feeling an extreme pleasure. Then, I got up to go to the bathroom, wondering what had just happened.

When I first masturbated to orgasm, I was amazed and overjoyed. I marveled at my ability to produce such a magnificent reaction within my own body. I wanted to tell the world. So, I came to my best friend with the news one night in a restaurant. I told her what I had done and she replied almost carelessly, “Oh, yeah, I used to do that…but the medicine I am on makes me loose the urge to do it anymore”. While I had experienced an internal epiphany, my friend was taking my news somewhat apathetically.

Now, although not because of her apathy to my self-induced pleasure, I am no longer friends with that girl. Now, my best friend is a boy, Cameron. He and I have become closer in the past year, and we tell each other everything. Cameron did not start masturbating himself until he was fifteen years old, and half-way through his sophomore year. He and I always share masturbation techniques and stories. It’s very informative to know the other side of masturbation and I find it very refreshing to have a friend who accepts it. There are a lot of misconceptions that masturbation can or should only be performed by males. (Which is one of the reasons I love this site so much.) However, Cameron appreciates, and believes everyone should be able to masturbate and enjoy his or her body and sexuality.

Recently, Cameron and I began talking about experimenting with each other. So, because we are best friends and are willing to share experiences, I decided to use my hands to bring him to orgasm. One Saturday morning, at his house, I wrapped my hand around his penis and stroked him until he came. It was a very erotic experience to hear him moan and gasp as his orgasm came nearer and fascinating to see the liquid shoot from his body upon his release. Even after he had ejaculated, Cameron’s moans made my body quiver.

I thought the whole process to be beautiful and amazing. Cameron has never been touched by another girl, and I haven’t by another boy. Cameron loves to touch my breasts, and stimulate them with his fingertips, pinching and caressing and stroking them for my pleasure. Lately, he has begun to gently lick or suck my nipples, which is extremely erotic and pleasurable. It turns me on so much to see his head at my chest, his mouth on me as if he is a child and the very food of his life is in my breast.

Cameron began to touch my vulva through my clothing, until one day when his fingers went farther, into my pants. He explored with his fingers, never before having felt a vulva. He inserted his finger into my vagina and marveled at the structure. Then, he stroked inside me. I didn’t come, but I haven’t yet come to orgasm by using the G-spot method, even masturbating. He didn’t try to stimulate my clitoris, but I am sure he will, once we have the time and opportunity.

Sometimes, Cameron and I, fully-clothed, will simulate the act of sex on each other, rubbing and grinding our bodies together until we are aroused. It is such an erotic and sensual experience to feel a body on yours, touching your most sensitive place.

Although we are both virgins and don’t play to have sex anytime soon, Cameron and I see the beauty in the exploration of the human body, not only through masturbation but through the safe and mutually desired touching of another’s body.

Anonymous

I have just read your informative page about “locating your vagina” (which I would rather have called “locating your external sexual organs”, by the way, but that’s your website and decision) and I was reminded about how did I locate my vaginal opening and to “use” it.

As a young child I knew that I had a “hole” between my legs. My mother bought me a book about how children are born when I was about 5 (suited for my age), so I knew that adults have sex, men insert their “pea” in the women’s “butterfly” and leave there a seed that combines with a seed provided by the woman and a baby starts, develops and finally is expelled through the same opening in the woman’s “butterfly”.

I also knew that this hole was small and elastic, since I had seen myself and I had seen other females naked, both child and adult (and animal too!), and knew that no female had a hole the size of a child or pup.

What I did not know is that the hole does not go just “up”. It goes “back”! Therefore I had always imagined the cavity to go parallel to the rest of my body, straight towards the head.

When I started to experiment in earnest I was about 8 or 9. I knew that what I was doing was related to sex. I did not know what was the name for it, but I already had a sexual imagery. At the time it was quite geared towards the BDSM, which I later totally dropped: it now bores me; although again I did not know what it was and the name for it.

That far, though, my sessions were essentially based on laying face down in the bed and humping my own hand through my panties. At that age, though, I started elaborating on, it, using various objects to stroke with and, at a certain point, had an idea: if adult women could feel such pleasure by having their lovers insert their dick in that hole, I could do the same with an object.

I also knew that my pussy was smaller than an adult’s and had an obstruction of some kind that would be, in time, ripped in discomfort. But I did not want to rip it just then (to avoid the discomfort, obviously).

I started playing with a pen, something that’s handy for a schoolgirl. I would “rummage” with the tip of its rounded cap until I hit the opening, then browse around with it and suddenly the unexpected happened: oops, it slid it. It was unexpected because I was holding the pen towards me, not straight up, but in it went all the same. And with no pain of discomfort at all. It was good. It was more of a mental thing since the pen was really slender and I could not feel much, but the thought of having something inside was good: it made me feel a grown up, it made feel experienced.

Later I learned something about hygiene and stopped using pens. I became quite careful about cleanliness: I would wash my hands before and after masturbating and I would insert only clean things in my cunt. I started using those cotton sticks for cleaning ears (I don’t know their name in English), then thought that I could use anything as long as I washed it with soap before and after, so I went back to pens (larger ones this time) and I started using fingers, and finally I had a really naughty idea about the glass “pestle” my granny used to tenderize the meat, which had (and still has!) a fat handle, almost the size of an erect penis, and by the time I started using it I had a pretty good idea about the size of an erect penis, although I was still a virgin (about 14) from TV and magazines and general talk.

They all went in, now that I knew how to angle them, without any pain or discomfort. The tenderizer felt tight, but not bad at all. Actually, after a few times the tightness went away and it slid in smoothly as I grew accustomed to its girth, my muscles grew relaxed and I lost any fear.

The first time I had penetrative sex with a male partner I was totally relaxed, at least from the physical point of view. Psychologically it’s always a barrier (and there is a minor barrier every time you let a new partner penetrate you) because offering to a more-or-less stranger your own concave body isn’t totally devoid of worries, every single first time. I actually knew better than him, who wasn’t at his first experience, what to do and where and how it had to do. After he tried a couple of times to penetrate me without directing his penis, and did cause me a bit of discomfort that he mistook for a hymen, I took charge, rolled him to his back and did the whole business. Slide it across my cunt to lubricate it more, position and slowly take it in. Easy, isn’t it? He could not believe that I was a virgin, both because I knew my anatomy (and that should be something every girl knows for health related, not necessarily sexual, reasons) and because I didn’t feel any pain once I took control and there was no blood.

I was probably born with a really rudimentary or nonexistent hymen to start with, which is out of luck and could not be taken for granted by women out there. I also probably started to stretch it as a young child, when it was much thinner and kept gently working it until it totally lost coherence.

But getting to know my own body, and my pussy, in detail helped me a lot in those early days of partnered sex. Do not hesitate to explore your own body before making (penetrative) love with another person. You will not just learn how to have pleasure but also how to avoid pain. If your hymen is particularly developed, don’t do like my friend who waited until 24 to have (penetrative) sex just to find that her hymen was thick and she was tense for it and all. And if you do have a particularly bad hymen, go to a gynecologist and have it surgically removed (a tiny almost bloodless and painless cut), and if he or she refuses, change gynecologist until it’s done.

Every girl has the right to a painless first time. And to have lots of fun while making it so.

Debra – Age 45

First I would to say that I enjoy your site. I guess my first sexual experience occurred sometime around age 6 and involved my then 11 y/o brother. He used to come into my room at night to get the cat and one night he just started to touch me down there. Being only 6, I use to sleep with only a nightgown on and I guess that it had moved up during the night leaving me exposed. I awoke to him touching me with his finger but I pretended to still be asleep. So went our nightly ritual for I guess at least 1-2 months then he started to lick me. I never really thought about the ethics of this conduct being right/wrong I just remember that it felt really really good. We never talked because I always faked being asleep and during the day I acted as I normally did. I guess because it was at night and it was dark! I didn’t see the harm. After a while I would prepare myself for our little nightly encounter by laying on my back with my legs kind of spread with my nightgown pulled up just above my pussy and the sheets pulled down so I would be exposed. Not really sure if I experienced orgasm since this all occurred a whole lot of years ago. Just remember a kind of warmth all over especially when he would lick me. Also he would stick his fingertip into my behind and just wiggle it that really felt good.

Around age 9 (he was 14) he would come into my room to watch TV with me on my bed. He would expose himself and jack-off until he came. We didn’t talk but we would both breath really heavy it was really fascinating to watch. Then he would cover himself and leave. Over time I started to touch the big vein along the top and squeeze it. Then he would jack-off. Then I started to expose myself to him by just wearing my nightgown with no panties on. So when he would come into my room to watch TV I would sit Indian style so he could see me naked down there. I would lean back on my hands so my nightgown would get pulled up and I would be exposed. All we had for light was the glow of the TV but I knew that he could see me. We started to masturbate in front of each other and we got really graphic about it. We would get between each others spread legs and watch each other and I would let him shoot his cum on me down there. I would spread my lips and he would move up so that the head of penis was touching my pussy then he would cum on me. Eventually we started mutual oral sex on each other. I got really good at it and could tell right when he was about to cum because his legs would get really tense. I would let him cum in my mouth.

After about 6 months of this I asked him if he wanted to stick it in me. He tried but it was just too big so he would just rub it up and down until he came. Around age 10 he was able to actually put it in me. It didn’t hurt and it really felt good and I remember orgasming to this. We started to do this about 3 times a week. I actually had a few hairs down there then and small buds for breast. This all came to an end when he when off to the Marines at 18. Still remain close.

Anonymous

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on an excellent and informative site. I refer to it frequently and thought that it was time that I added my voice. I am a mid-30s college-educated professional, and
grew up in a very normal home, with loving parents. I had a very sexually active childhood, and for many years I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Society either condemns childhood sexuality as abnormal or perpetuates the myth of asexual and angelic beings who somehow morph into sexually active adults sometime in their late teens. A few of my friends have been brave enough to admit to varying levels of awareness or experience, and I have read many contributions in your pages from
women who have had both positive and negative experiences in their childhood. I have many fond memories of my childhood experiences, and consider them to be quite formative of my adult sexual persona, not to mention a rich source of fantasy material.

I have one sibling, a brother. We were raised to be comfortable with our bodies and bathed together until we were about 9 or so. I was introduced to ‘doctor’ type games at around age 8 at a sleepover. I was initially shy, but quickly realized that there was much pleasure to be gained by taking part. I then experimented over the next few years with both girls and boys in my circle of friends. The memories of soft little vulvas and smooth, hairless penises still excite me all these years later. There was never any hint of coercion, and we simply saw our experiences as another very pleasurable way of having fun together. It was fascinating and thrilling to touch one another’s genitals, and this grew to include oral stimulation too.

My brother was part of the same circle of friends, and we quickly realized that we were both having the same experiences but on separate occasions. Soon, we were playing together whenever we could be alone. I used to love to hold his stiff little penis in my hand and masturbate him. I also really enjoyed taking him in my mouth and playing my tongue over his glans and around his shaft. I watched as his pubic hair began to grow in, and gulped down those first few drops of semen when they appeared. Sometimes I used to sneak into his room at night and wake him up with gentle caresses, and I especially enjoyed the thrill of sucking him off just meters from where my parents slept. One day in our mid-teens I let him fuck me with a condom he had found, but this only happened on a few occasions.

Our sexual adventures stopped when I left home after finishing school, and we have both grown into well-adjusted adults with families of our own. I suspect that many more people have had similar experiences during their youth, and I would be grateful if they felt that they could share them on this website. I certainly spent enough time wondering if I was ‘normal’ or perhaps perverted in some way.

Amy

I’ve been to shy to write before, but here I go. I’m 30 years old and I feel like I’ve just had a sexual awakening. The man I’m marrying is very sexually open. I have not been for most of my life. He can masturbate in front of me and has no shame or problems with it. I like to watch him but have felt uncomfortable doing it myself. I have masturbated since the age of 13 and been able to have orgasms in private with no problem, and I enjoy it very much, but I haven’t been able to masturbate in front of a partner. In fact, in all of my sexual experiences, it has been extremely difficult for me to achieve orgasm, from intercourse or from my partner manually or orally stimulating me, due to nervousness and/or an inability to “let go”.

That changed a few months ago, when my fiancé asked me to simply relax and allow him to play with me. He said not to worry about coming, just to breathe and enjoy the sensations. He made me very comfortable first, kissed and caressed me, pulled the covers over me so I would be nice and warm, and then spent a lot of time softly rubbing my clitoris with some lube on his fingers. He was very gentle and stroked it as if it were a fragile, precious object instead of clumsily grinding away on it or hurting it as some of my exes have done. He rubbed my clit in a circular motion very delicately until I felt it swell and ache with desire. He sucked one of my nipples gently as well. I had not been so turned on with anyone, ever. It felt amazing and I found myself uncharacteristically spreading my legs and moaning. Having my clit rubbed like that and my nipples stimulated at the same time was the most incredible thing I have ever felt. I completely lost myself in it and did what he asked… forgot about trying to come and just enjoyed what he was doing to me.

He went on licking and sucking my nipples while continuing to gently rub my clitoris. My emotions felt like tears and sobs welling up. I felt more swelling, like a dam about to burst, his fingers caressing my engorged clit. I began to tremble, with the intense feeling building, then exploded into ecstatic orgasm… and the craziest thing happened… A huge and copious rush of fluid came gushing out of me, soaking his hand… the bed… me… everything!! I was scared because it felt like I was peeing but it was the greatest sensation I’d ever felt. I thought at first that I would be ashamed of the mess, but he was ecstatic and told me he was incredibly turned on by it.

After that, my life changed. Now that he knows how to relax me and open me up physically and emotionally, the ejaculation happens almost every single time I come. My sex life is the best it has ever been. I can’t believe I didn’t know I could “squirt” until I was 30!! He has begun occasionally stimulating my G-spot with his fingers, which we have discovered also causes me to squirt.

Also, now that my guard is finally down, we masturbate in front of each other all the time and have astounding orgasms and lots of sexy fun together. I’m so happy I’m marrying this man and I look forward to years of this kind of fulfillment!

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